Beneath the Blazer (A Sebtana Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirteen: September

Dedicated to @Reina_Lynch for the overwhelming support through votes and reads on July 14th. 

It had been months since I'd seen Santana, I thought about her sometimes but not a lot. I thought about her today on this particularly chilly fall afternoon as I walked down the busy streets of New York. I passed a small wide eyed girl singing an Amy Winehouse song on the street, her voice was extremely powerful, I ended up dropping $20 in her guitar case, she deserved it. 

Santana was more than important to me, I just wasn't quite sure if she wanted to see me anymore. Rory ended up moving back home, a lot can happen in a few months. 

"I'm not- I uh.. Rory I'm really sorry I just can't" 

"No, I get it I do. I don't even- I'm sorry" 

"No! Dude don't be, it's totally cool. I'm flattered all I just-"

"Don't look at me like that, no I understand, I do." 

"Ror-"

"Look uh, I was thinking about moving back home. I didn't want to leave you here alone, I know you're all... recovering and stuff. It's just really hard without Shay and now with this too..." 

"Rory, I'm totally fine, and I think it's totally cool that you want to go home. The tuition here is a lot though, are you going to drop out like that because of a girl?" 

"I um... I'm a senior, Seb. I finished my coursework, I'm graduating next week. I was going to stay here because it's NEW YORK but I think I need a break before I can come back..." 

"OH! Well congratulations, can I take you to a totally chill holyshityoujustgraduated dinner?" 

"Yeah, sure, that would be nice. After that, no offense, I think it would be best for us both if I stayed at the Four Seasons or something"

"Rory you don't have-" 

"Seb, I've made up my mind" 

Just like that, Rory was gone. On graduation day I went to the four seasons and the woman at the desk said he never checked in, whenever I called my phone went right to voicemail. He didn't open my emails or my facebook messages. He was gone, in fact, it was like he never existed. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't put Rory out of my mind, sometimes I had a hard time remembering what he looked like or sounded like, I couldn't even remember his phone number after a few days. 

I went to call Shayla... I mean Sheri.. 

Sebastian, what is wrong with you? Calm down. Call Shakira... 

Why couldn't I remember the name of the girl who my roommate was dating? Why couldn't I remember anything? 

I sighed and headed towards Seedy's, a corner cafe in Manhattan. Exploring New York was always fun, and Seedy's was one of my favorite places to go. I sat down in my usual booth, a corner table with one seat and a rickety old chair pushed up to it. I ordered my usual chicken cesar and a tall glass of coke, when the waitress brought it over she sat down.

"Sebastian, why the long face?" She asked. 

"I've got nobody. All my friends are gone, and for some reason I can't remember who they are. Simple things like numbers and names, it's all a blur."

"Sebastian, it's because you need to wake up."

"What?" 

"Wake up Sebby, please wake up." 

All of the sudden, my entire life in New York flashed before my eyes. Getting accepted to Juliard, meeting Rory, or was it Robert? Richard? Meeting up with Sandy, Shannon? Santana? and dating her, losing my virginity, my aunt, everything came rushing back. 

"But Abbi, what about Abbi?" 

"Who?" 

"My aunt her um, her deceased fiance."

"What do you mean?" 

"My aunt, Maddi. Her fiance committed suicide" 

"Wh- Seb, Maddi died when you were a baby." 

"What?" 

"Sebastian wake up." 

"What about my roommate?" 

"Sebastian, what are you talking about? What roommate?"

"Where's my mom?" 

"What?" 

"My mother. Where is she?" 

"Sebastian, wake up, please" 

"Where?" 

"Sebastian" 

"WHERE?" I shouted, knocking the food off the table. 

"Calm down, you're going to spike your heart rate and then you'll never make it." 

"Make what?" 

"Sebastian, wake up. Please, focus on my voice. Wake up, follow it." 

I moved quickly, out of Seedy's. I was dizzy, stumbling down the streets, I needed to follow her voice. It was familiar, like silk. Something told me to follow it because if I didn't I would never make it. 

"Come on Sebby, you can beat this." 

I ran, booking it down the empty streets of Manhattan. A bridge, a bridge, I scanned any sort of area that may contain a high bridge. I found a stone bridge in a park, it was maybe 50 feet off of the ground and below water and rocks, this needed to be done right, I needed to die here and now. 

"Sebastian come on" 

The voice was louder this time. I scrambled up to the bridge's rail, I looked around and everything was white and blank. There were no people, just me and the bridge, whatever laid below it. This was my fate. The voice was louder, repeating the same thing over and over, suddenly it hit me. 

I needed to kill myself to find the woman who spoke to me. I put my feet over the edge, my heart was beating quickly and my feet dangled, sweat poured off of my face. "I'm coming" I whispered before I threw myself off of the side, I plunged towards the ground, the rocks and water coming at me faster and faster as I built up speed. I closed my eyes, and hit the ground. 

-

Beep.... beep.... beep....

My eyes shot open, I regretted it immediately. It was blinding, the white room and its bright lights. The room made me squint. I felt myself gasp. "Mom?" I called out, pain. I opened my eyes, I was in a hospital. I moved my arm, which hurt. I felt a shot of pain shoot through my entire body. 

"Fuck, did I die?" Ow.

"Sebastian, good to see you, it's been a long 9 months. I'm glad you're awake." 

Hello kittens! The next chapter will probably be the last, if not the second last. I've really enjoyed writing this story for you all. I hope you've enjoyed reading it. 

Much love, 

Kaitlyn. 

ps try not to hate me for the ending ;)