Letting Go * Top 10 #SYTYCW15 * (LGBT BxB)

Part Six - Hiding - Ben POV

I left the apartment feeling like my body was about to explode. I wanted to stay in with Jace more than anything, but it was stupid because the agreement was the only reason any of this was happening. He didn't want me, he wanted the internet kid. That was my fault too dammit. Why had I said yes to meeting Elton? I sighed, I knew why, I couldn't let down a friend in need after all. I hadn't been able to let Jace down either, of course that had been different.

I wanted Jace. My reasons for saying yes to his proposition had been as much about my own need for him as it was for him to learn, maybe more so. Want was an understatement, I was in love with him and I had been for some time.

I knew he didn't feel the same way, even though sexually it seemed we were on fire; romantically we weren't on the same page. He was out of my league, a rock star who could have anyone. Besides I'd met Cris before he died, I had seen firsthand the true love they shared and I'd only known them both less than 24 hours at the time. I'd never met those expectations. To him we were just friends.

Now things were worse than ever, I'd touched and tasted him in ways I had only dreamed of. I wasn't sure I'd be able to walk away when he fell in love with someone else without completely falling apart.

I drove to Madison's to meet my old school friend Elton. He was already there when I arrived, sitting in a booth by the door. The place was amazing, it had this old school Irish bar feel to it, with a giant round open fireplace in the middle. I glanced at it and reminisced about the first time I'd brought Jace here. We'd sat by that fireplace with beer and Maddy burgers. We had talked for hours, until very recently it had been my favorite memory. Now his kiss was my favorite.

I looked back at Elton who smiled at me and waved me over. "Ben!" he grinned. "You do NOT look like the boy I remember in high school."

"It's been a few years, so I hope so." I mumbled. "Hey Elton."

Elton did look like the same boy from high school either. He clearly hadn't outgrown his geek chic almost hipster guise. I'd liked it back then, he was one of the first openly gay guys I'd met when I started high school and because of that I'd formed a crush. That was all it had ever been though, and not once had he ever noticed me. Once again, I had just been the friend.

"Thanks for meeting me. Between the break up and my horny roommates I needed a friendly face."

"No problem Elton. I was surprised when you said you wanted to meet though." I replied honestly. Aside from the odd email, or status update on Facebook, we barely communicated. I'd overstated my communication with Elton to Jace, partly to gauge his reaction. Except he seemed unaffected, he just smiled and waved as I left.

"You're the only person I knew would come." He replied. "Back in school you were always there for me. Loyal to the very end."

I smiled and looked over at the fireplace again. If I was loyal, then why did being here with another man, no matter how platonic seem disloyal? I looked back at Elton and shrugged. "You sounded pretty upset on the phone. I couldn't say no."

"Well you know what they say." Elton's tone dropped and he leaned across the table, his fingers stopped short of mine. "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

I kept his gaze, his green eyes shone with hope, and it slowly dawned on me that he was propositioning me. I leaned back into the cushioned booth and mulled over the thought. A few years ago I would have jumped at the chance. Elton was still attractive, even if my crush on him wasn't. But it was different now, after this afternoon the only person I wanted to think about being with was Jace.

"Oh, Elton, sorry man I'm just not... I don't... I'm kind of off the market." I managed to reply.

"Oh." He said with a frown. "Didn't you like have a crush on me in high school?"