It's my first day, I'm afraid, what if they look at me wierd? What if they laugh at me? C'mon Sarah get a grip, you've got this. I walked into the cafeteria for breakfast, I didn't smile, I didn't frown, I didn't even make a face, because I didn't want to have a reason for people to look at me. It's first block, I walk in and sit in the very back of the dull, unpainted classroom. My English teachers name is Mrs. Barbara, she started pointing at students asking their names, I didn't want to say mine, but she pointed at me, "Uh, my name is Sarah Andrews" I said with a very quiet shaky voice, I'm so embarrassed right now, why couldn't I have just said it loud and proud like everyone else? Oh I remember, because I was a wimp, a little wimp who couldn't even tell a teacher her name. The rest of the day went the exact same as first period, Except by the time I got in sixth period, there was this boy, in the back of the classroom, where I was planning to sit, so instead I sat next next to him. I sat down, got my notebook out, and I looked over at him. Why I looked at him? I have no idea, natural instinct I guess, but when I looked over, he was already staring at me, giving me this smile, a smile that I've never seen on a human beings face before, it was beautiful, this boy was absolutely beautiful, his dimples, his teeth, his jawline, the way his eyes sparkled. It felt like I was staring at the stars on a restless night, I was instantly in love with the way this boy looked at me. Unfortunately the bell rang and I ran out of the room, simply because I was not stabile enough to even say "hello" I got home, mom was passed out drunk on the couch, dad was in the bedroom, probably getting high off of some Opanas, again. I ran up to my bedroom, I started to write in my journal, when I finished writing, I read over it to see everything I wrote. The boy, is all I wrote about, I put how beautiful he was, how he made my stomach tingle when his gorgeous sky blue eyes glared into mine. When I awoke the next morning, I got up, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, washed my face, I put my everyday makeup on; Eyeliner, mascara, foundation, blush, and lip gloss. I put my white jeans on, with a loose, light pink, long sleeved shirt, and my brown boots. I looked in the mirror, and for some reason I started to cry, I fell to the floor, I couldn't stand the sight of the person in the reflection of this mirror. I went to school anyway, only for the boy. Let's skip the boring story of the first few classes, and talk about the boy again. I walked in sixth block, which is Art with Mr. Kelly, no facial expression once again, I sat down. After five minutes of sitting in class, I felt three taps on my right shoulder, it was him, oh my goodness. "Hi, I'm Nate, Nate Manders, and yours?"
"Oh, uh Hi, my name is Sarah Andrews" I replied with a nervous voice.
"Well, I just wanted to tell you, I was looking at you yesterday, and I think you're gorgeous." Oh my gosh, Nate called me gorgeous, it took me a second to reply seeing is to how my face was a bloody red kind of color.
"You think so? Thank you so much, you don't realize how much that means to me."
"You should be complimented everyday!" Mr. Kelly shouted with a loud voice "Okay, you have one week to draw on a canvas of something you think is beautiful, I will give you all a canvas and you may work on them at home as well, you will be graded on your effort, and not your ability to draw, good luck"
A week went by, and I was nervous to walk into Mr. Kellys classroom with an unfinished piece of art. Mr. Kelly said we have fifteen minutes in class to finish anything that needed done still, so I set my canvas up, got out my pencils, and started to finish. Fifteen minutes went by, and I was finished in time. Show time, if there was two things in this world I'm good at, it's drawing and finishing just-in-time. I decided I wanted to be second to last, because Nate wanted to be very last, I don't know why but he didn't want me to see his drawing. Everyone's pictures were very beautiful, and creative, this one girl drew a picture of her mom, which has cancer and it was well drawn, another girl drew a photo of her little brother that passed away from drowning, sad, but thoughtful. It was my turn, I was nervous, I drew a picture of the beach, with an amazing sunset, and palm trees. Finally, the one I've been waiting for Nate Manders, he uncovered his canvas. Everyone started to look back and forth at me, and the drawing, it was a drawing of me, it was so detailed, and for once I saw myself somewhat pretty. The feeling I got from seeing this drawing was unfathomable, but it was amazing, I wanted to cry, yet I wanted my face to fall off from how big I was smiling. Why? Why would Nate draw me?
"Hey Nate, can I ask you a question?" I said as I covered my canvas.
"Yes, of course." He responded
"Why did you draw me? Out of every girl in this class, you chose to draw me, why is that?"
"You see, when I walked in this classroom the first day of school and you sat next to me, my heart melted, I looked at you, and instantly my heart started to beat, I thought it was going to burst out of my chest, to be honest, I was told to draw something I think is beautiful, so I did exactly that."
I started to cry.
"No, darling why are you crying?" He asked with a high pitched, but still very manly voice.
"Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before, ever." I responded, voice cracking. The bell rang, this time, he walked with me to the busses outside.
"Would you like me to give you a ride home? So you don't have to ride the bus." Nate asked.
"Uh, yeah sure." We walked over to his unfinished blue car. Nate opened the door for me, he is such a gentleman. We started driving down the two lane in Golden, Colorado.
"Sarah?" He said softly.
"Yes, Nate?"
"Tell me about you."
"Well, you want all truth? No pity though because I hate when people feel bad for me."
"All truth, no pity got it."
"Well, I live in a house with my mom and dad, I'm an only child, my mom is an alcoholic, and my dad is a drug addict, I was diagnosed with Major depressive disorder, I also have Panic disorder, which is Anxiety, I sing a little bit, I have never had a boyfriend, I don't eat a lot, I'm insecure about anything and everything."
"Woah, looks like you could use someone to bring you up, let's see, do you have to be home at a certain time?"
"Absolutely not, why?"
"Well maybe, we can go to the movies, and catch a bite to eat?"
"Is that a date?"
"Most definitely!"
We got to the movie theater, there wasn't many people there, just a few seven or eight, maybe. We got two tickets to see Mary Linecoff which is about this woman with cancer and people take her from her home and kill her, it was kinda sad, but I know movies aren't real so that makes it better. We walked out of the movies and we stopped. "What is it, Nate?"
I said with a confused look.
"Do you mind if i, well hold your hand maybe?"
"Of course I don't mind!"
He grabbed my right hand, his hands were so soft, it felt like I was gripping a pillow, his grip made me feel so safe. We went to the buffet just next to the cinema, and we got out of the car, and walked in, still holding hands. This means he was not ashamed to be seen with me, Nate Manders was not ashamed to be seen with Sarah Andrews. We sat down at the table we got walked to, they came and brought us our drinks, I got Cherry lemonade and he got Pepsi. We walked up to the buffet, I only got three or four things, I wasn't very hungry. It was 7:34, he had just dropped me off at my house, the last place I wanted to be. I walked in the door
"Why are you so late?" My mom screamed stumbling over the couch.
"Momma I just went out with a friend." I replied with a shaky nervous voice.
"I was worried sick!"
"I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean to worry you!"
"Go to your room, don't come out!"
"Momma I'm sorry!"
"Quit talking and go away, you worthless piece of shit, before I make you!"
I ran to my bedroom out of fear, I threw myself on my bed and cried for about two hours.
It's 6:37am and I'm afraid to walk down stairs, I put sweatpants on, a tank top, and put my hair in a messy bun, grabbed my books, and walked downstairs quickly.
"You're not going to school today." My mother said in an upset voice.
"Why?" I said.
"I just don't want you to, I want you to do things for me today."
"Mom I'm going to school!"
"Excuse me?" She walked closer to me.
"I have to go, I have a test in English!"
The back of my mothers hand collided with my face, I started to scream! I ran out of the house, down the road, and sat by the lake. I cried for almost an hour. After I had cooled down, I walked back to my home, twisted the door handle slowly and walked in on my dad doing a line of coke, and mom passed out on the couch, again. I walked up to my room, and when I walked in, I noticed a piece of paper on my laptop, I was confused, I unfolded the paper and it read:
