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"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe." - Gustave Flaubert
The Gemme Community has always believed in perfection, whether it's for our community, or for our precio...
Chapter 1: Shadows of past - Chapter 5: Entwined Paths: Sparks in Silence
Total: 65/100
At First Glance (Title/Cover/Blurb): 4/10
The title is simple and an easy opener to show what the book will be about. However, love should be capitalized. The cover is alright because it tells me the story deals with books/academia and a romance between two men. But the quality is subpar, the text isn't appealing, and the blue border around the cover is distracting. There are many graphic shops on Wattpad, and I'd suggest getting a cover made for you. The first sentence of your blurb is unnecessary, and restructuring it would help give a better flow, encouraging the reader to look forward to your writing.
Ex. "In the bustling corridors [...] Social Science, Das Masilamani, a brooding postgraduate political science student, crosses paths with John Durairaj—a witty psychology professor with an unconventional view.
The former juvenile offender turned diligent scholar; Das is drawn to JD's sharp intellect and playful banter, even while hiding his feelings behind professional formality. JD appears equally captivated by Das' rugged brilliance as he pushes boundaries with charm and wit.
[The last paragraph is perfect!]"
What's Happening? (Plot): 15/20
Starting with the prologue, the whole part dedicated to the college is unnecessary. You want the first thing the reader sees to be catchy, and while the mission statement is good, scraping the rest might make the introduction smoother.
The first chapter is done well. I like the flashback leadup to the present to show where Das comes from. The second chapter is a bit long, and many details could be avoided to keep the plot moving. It was tricky to get through this part. The meet-cute of the third chapter flowed perfectly, and I enjoyed it the most out of everything so far! Their romance is going to be fun to read! I like the brief switch to JD's point of view at the end of the fourth chapter. Your dialogue is witty, and the fifth chapter keeps going with that!
You have several excellent scenes sprinkled between a flood of information and things that are unlikely to be relevant. Your chapters are long and can be trimmed to focus on only the plot.
Go With the Flow (Grammar): 12/15
Considering that English is not your first language, the grammar is satisfactory. There are a few mistakes (that everyone makes) and a bit of word repetition that makes the flow unsteady, but otherwise, great effort!
Also, while adding pictures to parts is common for many people on Wattpad, I firmly believe in showing your scene in your writing and not relying on actual images.
Look How Far They've Come (Characters/Development): 10/10
How you've written your characters is the most substantial part of this story! Das's initial portrayal of striking detachment, intelligence, and drive are immediately apparent. He presents a guarded, almost cold exterior. The strength of his character arc lies in the gradual, believable shift from this isolation to his budding connections with Soori and Aditi. The scenes where he begins to laugh and engage with his peers are particularly effective, showcasing a significant emotional development.
Out of this World (Worldbuilding): 10/10
You've spent a lot of effort building the world around the college. It's fantastic, and I have nothing to criticize!
I've Never Seen That Before! (Originality): 4/10
The student-professor trope is used frequently. If it weren't good, it wouldn't be everywhere, so while its originality is scored low, it's because it's a coveted theme.
I Need More! (Hook): 5/15
You do well keeping the reader wanting more interactions between your characters and hoping to see what happens next between the two MCs. However, with it being such a commonly used subject, it's challenging to add a unique spin that hasn't been seen. There isn't much to hook the reader.
Keep 'Em Coming (Overall Enjoyment): 5/10
While the story was adorable in many areas, I had a hard time immersing myself in reading. There are a lot of details, most of which hold no value other than word count. One of the most significant pieces of advice for authors is to "show, don't tell" when it comes to things. Das' interactions should lead to the forefront of the story and not paragraphs of descriptions for scenes.
Overall:
"Blossoming love" by @Kalikadark is a budding romance between a former delinquent with impressive intelligence and a carefree "rules don't apply to me" professor. The dialogue shines in this story, creating wholesome scenes that can have the reader giggling alongside the characters during their interactions.
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