The Younger Agent - Natasha Romanoff x OC

Chapter 134 - Snap Back

Eleanor didn't know how she got here. How she'd gotten off that godforsaken planet. It was like her brain turned off when Natasha died. She remembered screaming and screaming until her throat bled, she felt how her lungs gave out, felt her chest tightening, her world crumbling. The next thing she felt were her bedsheets. Her and Natasha's bedsheets. One side empty.

She figured the only explanation is that her brain just blacked out, went on autopilot as they flew home and reunited with the rest of the team. Clint must have made sure she was all tucked up into bed, curtains closed to allow her to sleep if she needed to. But she hadn't slept, it wasn't even on the horizon. Her puffy and sore eyes were almost swollen shut, the dried tears itching her cheeks, but she couldn't find the energy to bring her hands up to do anything about it. She wasn't even sure how much time had passed. Whether today was the day that Nat had died or if days had passed whilst she stared at the curtains.

What was she supposed to do now? They had all the stones. Nat... made sure of that. So, Eleanor supposed that the rest of the team were probably using their grief to become the worlds greatest heroes again, saving the world one failure at a time. A slow breath escaped her lungs as she pictured the team, pictured how they might need her maybe, maybe not. Natasha was always better anyway. Maybe they needed Natasha.

She needed Natasha.

Her cheeks were wet again, it was irritating, her brain was in enough pain, she didn't need to feel uncomfortable and overstimulated too. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine Nat swiping her thumbs beneath her eyes, hoisting her up to go and be helpful, to stop being so sad. Instead, she found herself whimpering like a wounded dog when she opened them and saw she was still alone.

She wished that the plan had worked, that they'd both gone together. She wanted to be with her love, even if it meant in death. She didn't want to be alone in this bedroom anymore.

Even through her noises of agony she heard the door open, heard footsteps padding through. The tears kept flowing, she didn't care who saw. Anyone who judged a grieving spouse for breaking down would be sociopaths, and she was sure there weren't any sociopaths in the compound.

Finally, a pair of hands touched her, wiped her cheeks dry, cradled the back of her head. But they were bigger, they weren't the ones she loved, the ones she was craving. Her puffy eyes focused on Clint, whose lips were pursed and eyes rimmed red as he took the sight of her in. His hand continued to cradle the back of her head, smoothing her hair down as her cries turned into sniffles. He grimaced slightly as she sniffed in hard before handing her a tissue, helping her blow her nose like she was a toddler.

"The gauntlet's ready", Clint told her softly, judging her reaction. Her reaction was zero. Ordinary Eleanor would be over the moon that they had the chance to bring people back, grieving Eleanor couldn't give a flying fuck. So, what if other people came back? It wouldn't bring Natasha back. She would still be lying alone in a bed made for two.

Clint's eyebrows moved subtly, Eleanor didn't bother deciphering it. "Bruce is gonna snap his fingers, we agreed... maybe you should be there. So you're aware of what's going on, you've been in here a while", his voice was delicate, Eleanor was fragile.

She simply hummed slightly, head nuzzling further into the pillows beneath her. She didn't care who was snapping her fingers.

Clint sighed, Eleanor heard some shuffling before the curtains opened. "Your wife sacrificed her life for that gauntlet to be made", he spoke slightly louder this time as his hands came under her armpits to lift her up into a sitting position, holding a glass of water up to her lips. "You should see how her sacrifice helped, so when you're feeling better you'll understand. Maybe not feel so angry". Eleanor noticed his voice was bitter. Maybe he was forcing himself to be up and about with this infinity stone business so that he wouldn't feel so angry when he was better too.