You Were My Mistake..

I keep coming back to you

I dont know why
I dont know how
But i always somehow find my back to you..

You break my heart
You trash my soul
My eyes cry all night long
But i still crave for your touch and your voice to be with me.

I dont know whats in you
Or whats in me
But a part in my heart cant leave a part of you.
I just keep coming back to you.

There is not a thing i can do without the thought of you,
Wear a dress , or cross a road,
U always somehow manage to cross my minds road.

As much as i love you dear
The pain is what i fear
I fear going back in that trap, where darkness and tears are all that surround me, where my hands bleed and my minds numb,
Where my days are spent running after you and nights,
Crying for you..

What use is the love that cant give you peace, that cant give you the feel of worthy of what u are..
Instead all it does is question you n give you nightmares
But i still somehow keep finding my way back to you..

So tell me this, and answer my question..
You say love is enough, bt is this love worthy enough??
Worthy of the nights i spend crawled up in corner, wishing i dint make that stupid small mistake' to make you so angry at me..
Is it worthy enough of the days we spent fighting and abusing each other and not forgeting and loving each other..
Tell me will you be the one i desire? Yes i desire you but not this version of you..

You are somehow everything i wanted combined with everything i hated.. so tell me did i do right? Running away frm u? Knowing a part of me still loves u, still carries you in my heart and still longes fr your voice n i love yous.. which still cries cuz it missed too much of ur dimple smile?
But also knowing how much your anger hurt me.. how much abuse i went through,
Knowing you consider me guilty for everything and we always end up fighting on things better left unfought but disscussed?

I miss you and i love u, i always will .. but i cant do this to us anymore.. i cant take it anymore
I dont want you anymore terrorising me,
Guilt triping me and getting me back in the darkness..
I love you but i no more want you..
Yes i left u once before n came back again..
N yes it scares me that i might wanna come back again... Bt even though i end up coming back to u, i dont wanna end up going back to where i escaped frm.. tho ull always hold a part of.. n i.. will always keep coming back To u