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"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe." - Gustave Flaubert
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01 | Prisoner of Past - 05 | Prisoner of Insurance
Total: 96/100
At First Glance (Title/Cover/Blurb): 9/10
The first impression of this story is excellent! The cover is enchanting, the title fits the theme of the plot and the blurb is well written. The double use of the word cripple could be adjusted, and some of the phrasing could be modified to read smoother, but otherwise, it's solid and accurately gives the reader a foundation of what to expect.
What's Happening? (Plot): 20/20
I love the mix of what appears to be the "normal" world wrapped in a mystery murder case and subtle magic. The buildup to the time travel is expertly done and gives the reader enough of a tease to want to know precisely what is happening. The author weaves foreshadowing and traumatic pasts at every turn, introducing questions from the beginning. A lot of thought is put into this, and the reader can tell that each twist will connect to the others in the end.
Go With the Flow (Grammar): 14/15
The description and metaphors are beautiful. Each paragraph is crafted with skilled vocabulary; this is some of the better grammar I've seen on Wattpad! Reading this story was a wonderful experience.
However, the author's style uses many italics. Some phrases/words work, but others could be written in standard typeface for smoother flow. In my opinion, "The murderer walked free" and "After her brief ten-year stay" read better, not and do not stand. There are a few others throughout the chapters I read.
In chapter 4, there is a part that has an error—just pointing it out so you can edit it!
"Yes. Her mother retrieved the picture from her mother, [...]
Unless you meant to say the mother of Nina's mother, but the wording is off and the dialogue isn't closed.
Look How Far They've Come (Characters/Development): 10/10
The main characters are very different, and their personalities shine in each chapter! Nina's inner conflict and distrust of anything make sense after she has been locked away for ten years and knows that her town despises her. Elias is complex, and being thrust into the mess of things is interesting. I can't help but wonder exactly how things will tie together, and I can't wait to see how Nina and Elias interact.
Out of this World (Worldbuilding): 8/10
While there are a lot of amazing details, the whole world feels lackluster. I'm hoping that in later chapters, there's more on exactly what is happening, how time travel is possible, and the history between the main characters and the mystery of the murder. This story is very plot driven, which is not negative, but there could be more hints to the world around.
I've Never Seen That Before! (Originality): 10/10
I haven't seen anything like this plot before. Everything about it is original, and I have nothing more to add to this section. I'm in love with this story!
I Need More! (Hook): 15/15
The changing point of view between Nina and Elias is a great creative choice. It keeps the story fresh and shows both of their conflicts. It adds an extra layer of wanting to continue the story to see where the last view left off. Plus, it creates a tension of how the meeting will play out once the two meet. The author perfectly keeps the reader engaged and lays down multiple hooks to encourage continued reading by the end of the fifth chapter.
Keep 'Em Coming (Overall Enjoyment): 10/10
Reading through the first five chapters was not only enjoyable, but easy. The characters are fleshed out thoroughly, and the details added made it simple to picture each scene. I want to keep reading in my free time!
Overall:
"Prisoner of Past" by is a mystery with a twist of magic. The vocabulary is elegant and the descriptions are beautiful. The author weaves their words in a complex fabric of questions and a need to continue reading for the answers. Nina is a troubled woman who was locked away for a murder she didn't commit. After being released, she is haunted by the man whose death cost her. The first time she relives the past, Elias also witnesses it, marking him as an accomplice in magical time travel. This is a very original plot, combined with talented writing. I absolutely recommend this story as a must read on Wattpad!
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