My Heart Attack

I take a deep breath, and exhale.  It’s been almost a week since last seeing him, and the wait has been excruciating.  Taking a step towards the door, my hand stops at the knob.  Seeing him through the window, so many memories wash over all at once, and it’s too hard to cope.  Tears prick at my eyes, threatening to make a scene.  This is it, I tell myself, tentatively stepping in.

    “Hey sis!” he calls out. I know he’s trying to sound upbeat to cheer me up.  It wasn’t working.  Nothing could work to make me feel better, even my goofy brother.

    “Cole, are you alright?  Out with the truth, ok?  I can’t handle being lied to anymore,”  I respond.  I hate fighting with my brother, but I couldn’t help but to feel annoyed.  Mad.  Scared.

    He is quick to reassure. “It’s okay!  If you really want to know the details, then that’s fine.  You deserve to know.  But first, I want to know how you’re doing.  Honestly-”

    “Fine,” I reply; completely cutting him off.  I’m ashamed of being rude, and I look away.   “Just..... a couple scrapes.  And bruises.”  Looking back to Cole, I wince.  It was the worst feeling in the world was to watch someone you loved being in pain.  I tried with all my might to keep in the tears.

    “Well,” Cole began uncomfortably, “You can see how I am.  But as for my car-”

    My emotion is a fierce, raging lion, and I am far too weak to cage it in.  I’m trying to battle off all of the million memories that come to mind, but it’s too late.

                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “We still have to get some frozen pizzas.  Unless you honestly want to be in charge of cooking when mom and dad are out for dinner,” I teased.  Cole made a face.

    “Pizza it is.  Let’s go,” he quickly decided.  We were walking out of the music store, and I smiled.  I loved to be with my brother.  Although he’s a major dork, Cole is the only one who understands me.  He may be my brother, but he is even more than a brother.  He’s my best friend.

    “Good.” I was relieved.  There was no way I was going to let him be in charge of cooking.  I shivered at the thought.

    “Race you to the car!” Cole screamed, running ahead of me.  I may be smaller, but I was quick to react and scrambled to catch up.  I could hear him laughing at me when we got closer to the car; he was about to win!  I frowned and pumped my arms and legs faster than ever before, and I reached the door first.

    “Ha. I win!”  I told him.  I knew he let me, but it still felt good to be the first.

    “Well, looks like you’re not going to win.  I have the power of the lock, miss Kelly,” Cole teased, holding up his keys.  

    I groaned.  Good-naturedly, of course.  “Hey, let me in!” I commanded.  After letting me stand there impatiently, he unlocked the door.  Thank goodness.

    It was one of those days where you didn’t have a care in the world.  Even better, I was able to see Cole for the first time since he left for college.  He brightened up my day, and I was  truly a thousand times happier than I was during this past year.  A million ideas brewed in my mind to relive our childhood; everything had to be crammed into one day.  Only one day isn’t enough time, and it broke my heart that Cole would have to leave tomorrow.

    Cole was appalled when I put on the radio and had begun to stare out the window.  “That station?  How, in the world, can you listen to this stuff?” he asked.

    “Um, maybe I like this song?  We’re keeping it,” I bitterly replied.  Thinking about tomorrow made me a little snappy.  

    The next ten minutes stretched on and on, due to our unbreakable silence.  I was too occupied on Cole leaving so soon that I didn’t realize he was mad.  Too mad to say a single word.

“How’s the band going?”  I asked, wanting to start a conversation and apologize for making him upset.

    Cole took a deep breath.  “Well-”

    I tensed up, feeling a little queasy when the car turned around.  And around.  And around and around and around.....

                                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I shook my head.  How could I have disagreed with Cole on something as silly as listening to a radio station?  It was ridiculous and stupid.  

“--should be home next week.”  I snapped my head towards the doctor, jumping back to reality.

I looked to Cole.  There was no time to hold back anymore, and this could be my only chance.  I had to speak my thoughts, or my words would be forever lost to my mind.  

“Cole.  I’m really sorry I made you listen to a stupid station last week and I’m sorry!  I love you Cole please, please, please don’t leave us!  You are my one and only brother and best friend, and I couldn’t bear to live without you.  Please,”  I whispered.  

My brother’s eyes glistened and a smile began to tug at the corner of his mouth.  “Wow.  You’re a really cool sister, Kelly, and don’t forget that.”

I gave a weak smile.  I was still scared out of my mind for him.  Cole began to laugh, along with everyone else in the hospital room.  “What?”  I say, with uncertainty.

“Sweetheart, have you been listening to the doctor?”  my mother asks me; her eyes chastising me for not paying attention.  I stare at my feet sheepishly, and shake my head.

“Kelly, I’m okay!  I have to stay for a few more days so they can monitor my breathing, but I’ll be fine in a week.  Stop worrying; it’s really freaking me out,” my brother says.

And the weight on my shoulders have been lifted.  I took a deep breath, this time not of worry, but of relief.