Tragedy ° DEAN WINCHESTER

xxiii. | suffocating

Disclaimer; I don't own spn.
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"Light can be found in the darkest of places, if one simply remembers to turn on the lights." -Albus Dumbledore

EMERY COULD HEAR HER HEARTBEAT IN her ears. It was a ringing sound and she hated it.

She could also taste all the blood in her mouth. The coppery, rust-like taste enveloping her tastebuds. She wanted to spit it out, but she couldn't control her body.

Emery was left to look at the wreckage of the Impala, eyes wide open. Sam was alive, him panicking as she saw his lips moving, talking to somebody.

John was most likely alive. Even though he was on the side the truck had hit, he had gotten little injuries from the big fight against Yellow Eyes.

Dean was the one she was worried about. Out of her peripheral vision, she couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. He was almost bathing in his own blood from before.

Emery wanted to die. She wanted to be allowed to die. She wanted to know that it was up to her if she died or not, depending on how hard she fought to keep her life.

The girl didn't want the bullshit of her cells regenerating if she died, healing her, bringing her back to life. Especially if Dean died in this car crash and she wasn't allowed to.

She doesn't know if she could live without the man unconscious beside her. Or dead. She didn't know if he was dead or unconscious. Emery really hoped he wasn't dead.

The girl managed to find the strength to close her eyes. She ignored the ringing in her ears and let her memories take over her mind.

The first memory came to mind was looking like Emery was a toddler. She was playing with the family puppy, pulling at its ears and giggling when it licked her face. Emery knew they had gotten rid of the puppy later on, since it was too much of a hassle and the family was never home.

Memory number two was when she was five and swinging on the swings. Beside her was Alex, her old childhood friend. They were laughing and swinging, until Emery flew off and landed on her wrist the wrong way. Later, at the hospital, they had told her she had broken it and she got to wear a white cast for what felt like centuries.

Age twelve, her parents getting mauled by the werewolf and John Winchester saving her ass for the first time.

Next, she was fourteen and staring at the doe eyed boy she had just kissed. It was on accident, they had fallen in gym class, their lips smashing together. But he had been Emery's first ever crush. And they did date until John packed them up and moved to the next place there was a hunt.

Emery watched as her seventeen year old stood by her group of friends. Her leather jacket was on and she had a cigarette place between her fingertips, a beer in the other hand. The brunette recognized it as the day she got addicted to cigarettes. It was also the day she lost her virginity to the bad boy Jesse Hamilton, all so she could rub it in Dean's face. She didn't end up rubbing it in his face, because he was to busy making out with his girlfriend.

She watched herself say goodbye to Sam and Dean, before she set off to find out what happened to her family. As soon as they were gone, she had lit a cigarette and started walking, before she found herself being picked up by Bobby Singer. And, just like that, Emery was helping Bobby look up lore for hunters and also researching her own family when she wasn't doing anything.

She remembered when she was reunited with the Winchesters. Dean had actually sat in the back, him chatting all about the hunts and Sam and his Dad and Emery could remember just how much she actually missed him. She also remembered wanting to plant her lips on his. She was twenty and had been in love with Dean for quite some time.

The next years were blurred together with hunts and watching her heartbreak little by little with each little hook up Dean had. Though, Emery had met a super nice girl by the name of Lisa at the bar. She had hooked up with Dean, unbeknownst of the feelings Emery had for the man and had apologized profusely when she found out.

Then, the night they picked up Sam came and she got to relive the last year, which was absolutely hell.

Emery watched as Sam, Dean, and herself went all across the U.S.A just to find John.

She remembered the time she helped Dean cause he was having a panic attack. She remembers the shapeshifter making out with her. She remembered Cassie and Sarah and Max and everyone she had met.

Emery also felt as if she was suffocating.

She remembered all the deaths she could have stopped if they had gotten there a little bit quicker. All the times she almost died. All the times she had the chance to tell Dean her true feelings and didn't.

People tell you to live with no regrets. Maybe they're telling you that because their's are piled high or because they are doing the same.

But it doesn't work. When your older, you'll look back and regret at least one goddamned thing.

For Emery, it was not telling the man she loved how she felt. He was sitting beside her, practically dead and she had never told him straight to his face that she loved him.

It was also not saving a lot of people, but maybe that was their fate. Maybe it was their time to go.

Emery, who had opened her eyes again, only able to see the smashed windshield and John's unconscious body, along with Sam's form, hoped that it wasn't her time.

She also hoped it wasn't Dean's.

But, if it was, Emery would definitely suffocate in her regret of not telling him.

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edited.

i'm so pumped for season two. with all the psychic shit and than dean selling his soul. emery's gonna have fun!

here's a little prologue!

i'm probably gonna update most of my stories this weekend.

thanks for reading, vote, comment and stuff.

bye!