Before I Self Destruct (short story)

Gemma Lawson lays there awake. The neon lights passing from outside the Lonely Road Motel keep her awake as they dance over the walls beyond the bed where she lays with the man she knows,no,thinks she loves. She knows their relationship is wrong...she's 16 and he's 35. That one little fact is what kept them apart in her hometown of Jacksonville, Mississippi and she's afraid it's what's gonna keep them apart now. No! How dare she even think like that!? She LOVES this man. She gave up everything to him. From her first kiss to her virginity and she wants to be with him forever until the day she dies and nothing will stand in her way. She turns over in the motel bed and it creaks gently. She's now facing the most beautiful man she's ever seen. His sandy blonde hair, perfect face structure, bulging muscles, and blue eyes is what caught her glance that August morning

before school when they first met. He was out getting his mail when she approached him. "Hi", Gemma spoke shyly with her head down. "Why hello there missy", he said nicely, "and which one of my neighbors might you belong to?" She looked up finally but still spoke softly "I'm Jenna and Craig Lawson's girl....and who might you belong to?" His mouth curves into a slight smile and he began to laugh softly as he spoke "Me? Well I don't belong to anybody around here but my name is Lucas Daniels but nice of you to ask ummm what's your name sweet face"?"Gemma Lee Lawson", she spoke with a happiness of being called sweet face by what had to be God's very own personal angel. After they met that day it was over with for law and morals because they were breaking them both. They would meet in secrecy and talk about everything with one another. And finally one day he just laid it on her "Gemma...we have to leave here"."Leave? What do you mean? Go where? When?", she asked obviously confused. "I mean we can't be together here it's to risky with the law and everything.", he said looking at her with his ocean blue eyes that she would say yes to for anything. "I guess you're right....but where should we go Lucas. There's not a lot of options. I'm only 16 and you're a traveling soldier." He gave her a smile of hope and happiness as he looked down at her and finally wrapped her in a warm embracing hug as he said "I'll figure something out sweet face. I promise nothing bad will come to you as long as you're with me." And that's how they ended up here. In a motel somewhere in Texas with only their clothes and some cash he took from his savings account. And that's how she ended up crying thinking about her mama and daddy and sister. Wanting nothing more than to go home feeling like a helpless baby again. She looked at him and then got up and went into the bathroom. She stopped in front of the mirror and took a long look at the person looking back at her. She got scared because that wasn't her...that wasn't Gemma Lee. This person in the mirror was a lonely helpless kid caught somewhere between a woman and a child. Caught in the midst of a war started between her heart and her mind. She knew which one she wanted to win but she also knew which one NEEDED to win. So slowly but carefully she gathered her things and dug her bag for a certain pair of shorts. The ones that had a slip of paper in them that slip of paper had her mom's number on it. She took one last look at Lucas. Her soldier he would always be but she needs to be free of responsibility at least for now. So she slips carefully into the night and makes her way to a pay phone by the bus stop....