July 30, 2015. 11:15 pm.
Hi watty. So ito ang first entry ko sa diary kuno ko. *fake laugh* Hmmm. Pano ko ba sisimulan to? Ugh. Okay naman yung araw ko, except when I saw him... My first love. My first kiss. My first in everything. And My first heartbreak...
Hindi pa din sya nagbabago. He's still the one na laging seryoso at di mangiti. Pero kapag ngumiti na, matatawa ka nalang kase wala na syang mata. -____-
I dont love him anymore. Lalo na't may Jerome na ako. I really love my boyfriend. Sobra. Pero gaya ni Russel, iiwan din niya ako. There's no constant thing in this world diba? Lahat naman nagbabago. Kung ang cellphone mo nga pabago bago, pagmamahal pa kaya? I also know na minsan nabobored na sya sakin. I don't know how to socialize. Makapal ang mukha ko, oo. Pero hindi ko kayang bumuo ng conversation. Nasasaktan ako everytime na masasagi sa isip ko na iiwan ako ni Jerome. Nakakatakot maattached ng sobra sa kanya. Nakakatakot na one day magsasawa sya sa ugali kong mapanghinala, selosa, mahigpit, boring at weird. Hindi kami magkausap ngayon. Coz sabi ko sa kanya na matutulog na ako. But the truth is, I cant sleep. Hindi ko kaya. I was hurting inside. Russel left me hanging when I was in deep pain. Ayoko ng maulit pa yun. Traumatized na ako. Ilang lalaki na ba ang gumawa nun sakin? My tears are falling right now. I want him (referring to jerome) to wipe this shitty tears that were coming out of my eyes, but he's not here. He's out of my reach. Tinanong ko sya kanina kung ilang months sila ni rhexie and he said that 7 months ang tinagal nila. That was a tough one. 7 months din un noh. Gusto ko ngang tanungin kung sino ang mas minahal nya, ako? Si rhexie? Si cristy? Yung jasmin? Oh kahit sinong ex nya but nauunahan ako ng takot at kaba. Takot na baka hindi ako ang isagot nya. I know na nanghihinayang sya sa kanila ni rhexie. Hays. Who am I dba? I was just a stranger na chinat nya out of nowhere. Hmmm. Maybe I should stop this right here. I hope he will not read this. Please.
#StrangeGirlfriend
