Mirae

Kapitulo 31

Kapitulo 31

Forever

A heartbreak makes a person unpredictable. But an annulment makes a woman dysfunctional.

Sitting on her couch, two hours since she arrived home, Cyra kept staring at her wall. She didn't have any TV at home because there was no need; she just slept and bathed in the apartment. Most of her time was spent out and in Adiel's house. But that might change now, she might stay here for good.

Or leave.

She wasn't sure what to do. Right now, she was... just speechless. Thoughts were coming back and forth. Walang katahimikan ang isipan niya. She had wondered about the possibility of Adiel rejecting her and their marriage ending, but she didn't think far as to how she'd live after—because how could she? It was preposterous to envision, so she never did.

She should have.

A phone rings in the midst of the eerie silence. Cyra's arm stretches to get her bag. Motor skills work best in situations like this when a person's brain is malfunctioning or, rather, hyperfunctioning. Her hands search for her phone, and she answers the call.

"Cy! Umalis ka? What happened? May emergency ba? Walang sinasabi si Diel sa amin," it was Gwyneth.

"Yeah, I-I had to go, may kailangan ko gawin dito, I'm sorry I left without goodbye. Pakisabi kay Summer, pasensiya na, emergency lang talaga," pagkunwari ni Cyra.

"What happened? Did anyone get hurt?"

"No, it's... It's work and I couldn't leave it alone, sorry."

"Oh, thank God, akala ko may napano. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah," she lies. "I'll be fine. Sige, enjoy kayo riyan. Ingat din kayo pauwi, ha."

"We will. Ikaw rin, mag-ingat ka palagi, Cy."

She then presses the end call button and resumes the silent and staring game. Hindi nakabukas ang ilaw ng bahay, pero may sinag naman ng araw mula sa bintana. Walang electric fan na naka-on, pero lamig na lamig si Cyra. The car honks from nearby were background noise for her contemplation.

A rain of questions linger on her mind:

Ano na ang magiging buhay ko?

Will he file for an annulment? When? Pag-uwi niya?

Wala bang katiting na tiyansang magbago ang isip niya?

Who will accept the love I want to give him now?

In a year, maybe I can ask again?

What if I bring him to the grave of our child?

Paano ko sasabihin sa magulang ko? Ano'ng magiging reaksiyon ng magulang niya?

How can I live tomorrow?

There was no reason for Cyra anymore. No reason to wake and live. Para siyang nalunod ulit, at sa pagkakataon na 'to, wala nang susubok na salbahin siya. Alam niya nang mamamatay na siya sa ilalim ng tubig.

She stands up and goes to the kitchen. Taking an empty glass and water from the refrigerator, she attempts to put water on it. Nagkamali siya ng pagtapat pitsel, kaya tumapon sa la mesa ang tubig. For a moment, she regains her concept of control and pours water correctly.

Uminom siya at ibabalik sana sa ref ang pitsel, pero sa sink niya ito naipatong. Then, she sat on the couch again, in the dark.

Her mind drifts to Adiel's cry last night. Then, her cheeks slowly felt wet. Gaano kasakit ba ang maiwan para umiyak ang minamahal niya nang gano'n katindi? Hindi niya kayang tanggapin na ito ang kinahinantan nila, pero sa pag-alala lang ng mga luha ni Adiel, galit na naman siya sa sarili niya.