Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Zaroon 18 January contd

"Kashaf tum bhi baith jao."
Kashaf ke Abba ne bhari awaaz mein kaha.
Kuch do minute tak toh abba ne bhi chuppi rakhi par phir unhone kaha
"Zaroon. Kashaf ne mujhe kuch nahi bataya hai main bas janta hoon ki tum uske boss ho. Mujhe malum hai yeh rishta itne tak hi simit nahi hai isliye aaj maine tumhe bulaya hai taki tum dono mujhe sach bata sako. Main beech me nahi aunga. Jo tum dono ki marzi hogi main wahi karunga. Par main ek baap hoon aur meri khudki bohot insecurities hai. Main chahta hoon tum dono mujhe sab batao."
"Uncle.."
Maine kuch kehna chaha par Kashaf ne mujhe beech me tok diya aur sakht awaz me kaha
"Abba sach yeh hai ki main.."
Wo do lamhe ke liye ruk gayi. Kuch soch kar usne kaha
"Dekhe abba ap.."
"Kashaf tumhe jo baat karni thi mujhse woh Zaroon ke ane se pehle karni thi ab uska waqt hai. Agar tum dono khud kuch nahi bataoge aur bas is baat ko talte rahoge, toh seedhe seedhe mere sawalon ke jawab do.Kya Zaroon tum Kashaf se mohabbat karte ho?"
Maine halki sans li aur kaha
"Sabse zada."
Mujhe nahi pata maine aisa jawab kyu diya magar yehi woh cheez thi jo sabse pehle mere dimag me ayi.
Kashaf ne bhi kuch chauk kar mujhe dekha isliye maine apna sar jhuka liya.
Abba ne phir na mujhse kuch pucha na kucha kaha bas unhone bakiyon ko kamre me bula liya jo shayad humari baatein bahar se kaan lagaye sun rahe the kyu ki ek hi awaz me sab ghus aye.
"Koi bhi Zaroon se betuke sawal nahi karega. Jise jo puchna hai ek ek kar ke pucha jaye woh yaha koi interview dene nahi aya hai."
Kashaf ke abba ne sakht awaaz mein kaha.
Kashaf ki ammi mere pas aa baithi aur unhone mujhse pucha
"Beta tumhari ammi kaisi hai?"
Ammi ki baat ne meri bohot yaadein taaza kar di. Kuch lamhon ke liye toh main kuch keh nahi paya bas unke chehre ki odh dekhta raha
"Ammi theek toh hai na?"
unke tokne par maine larkharati awaaz mein jawab diya
"Ji..Allah ke ghar mein hai.. Theek hi hongi."
Mere is jawab ne meri ankhein geeli kar di aur neeche dekhne laga.
Phir bohot der tak kisi ne kuch nahi pucha. Mujhe darr tha ab woh mere abba ke bare mein puchenge aur wahi hua
"Aur tumhare abba?"
Iss dafa Kashaf ke abba ki awaaz sunai di.
"Abba ko toh maine kuch do teen saal ki umar mein dekha hoga. Unka chehra bhi yaad nahi mujhe."
Maine strongly is baat ka jawab diya aur maine khud ko excuse kar lia.
Main washroom se nikla toh Kashaf bahar toliye ko liye khadi thi usne ek halki si muskurahat di par mera jee nahi chah raha tha zara bhi muskurane ko. Maine bas usse towel lete huye pucha
"Kab tak yeh sab chalne wala hai Kashaf?"
"Dont worry abba ki tabyat sambhalte hi hum yeh sab natak band kar denge."
"Ab main ghar ke liye nikalna chahta hoon."
"Theek hai tum abba se keh kar chale jao."
Woh mujhe itni jaldi jane to nahi dena chahte the magar maine tabiyat na theek hone ka bahana kar diya aur waha se nikal gaya. Pata nahi abba ke zikr se hi aisi bechani kyu hone lagti hai aur ammi ki yaad bhi bohot aa rahi hai aaj mujhe. Ek family ke na hone ka dukh mujhe kabhi nahi hua tha lekin aaj Kashaf ke ghar walon ko dekh kar yeh kami ka ehsas hua hai mujhe. Aaj samajh aya hai ki what i have missed in life. Par yeh mere haath mein nahi tha Allah ne mujhe is kabil hi nahi samjha shayad isliye ek bada parivaar nahi diya kyu ki ek ammi hi toh thi meri apni main unki bhi kadar nahi kar saka. Ammi kaash main ap se mil pata. Mere zindagi ka yeh khali pan ab mujhe mar dhalega.