I am dedicating this chapter to, ZiallSmut. Thanks for the comment love! I'm pretty sure it was the longest one i ever got lol. Thanks :). Ill keep dedicating to you lovely people.
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Enjoy!
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(NIALL'S POV)
I wasn't sure how long we sat there on the stoop outside the house. I don't know how long i let them hold me without saying a word. Them holding me is what kept me together. It was because of them I wasn't in broken pieces on the ground. I hate that they are crying I hate knowing i hurt them and their tears are my fault. I hate that i thought i could ever stay away from them, Even if the intentions were pure even though i stayed away to protect them. I hate most of all that I need them and they wont care for a second that their lives are in danger. But I need them and I will be selfish i tried the other way and i ended up here and here is were i will stay. Eventually the winter air got to me and i began to shake my teeth clattering but i didn't want to go inside. I was afraid to leave their arms but they knew me to well. They stood up lifting me with them, Not one of them let me go somehow we all fit through the door. Placing me down on the couch Liam disappeared only for a moment and returned with blankets. He wrapped me in one then just like the other two huddle around me.
"What happen to you Niall?"I couldn't speak. What did i tell them? The truth? Could they handle it? Could I? So i stayed silent.
"I knew your moms death would be hard but i never imagined this. I knew you would want to push yourself away but i never thought it would go that far. You disappeared for months now Niall. No all of a sudden your here? What happened?"I don't think they would ever understand. I could tell them would they believe me? Would Liam just think I'm acting out? I didn't want him to see me that way. I was always the strong one and now I'm nothing. I couldn't answer him I couldn't tell them.
"I cant Liam not now."He looked at me with a frown.
"Why the hell not? You couldn't do it months ago and you still cant now? So what then nothing has changed? You will run off again? You will pretend we don't exist? Are we still not good enough? Not worth your precious time? Is it still going to be this way? TELL ME.!" I looked up I wasn't surprised at Liam's words, I expected them. I deserve worse.
"Liam stop."I looked over at harry with a small smile.
"No he has a right to say those things what i did to you. all of you was wrong."
"You didn't answer the question Niall are you leaving again.?"I wasn't sure. I couldn't look at any of them scared to see the pain on their faces.
"Are you?"Louis whispered, His voice breaking.
"Ni?" harry questioned unsure.
"NIALL.! ANSWER US."
"NO.!"they all jumped back never hearing me scream like that before. "No okay? No I'm not leaving. What i said before i never meant any of it. I just didn't know how to tell you all. So i did what i had to do. I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry for my hurtful words. You three mean the world to me. You are worth more then anything in this whole world. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."There was a few moments of silence. All of us looking around finally all eyes landed back to mine.
"Then tell us what happen, we cant help if we don't know."
"There is nothing you can do."
"We can try."
"No."I said sure they would leave it but i should have known nothing ever works out.
"Why wont you tell us?!"
"I DON'T KNOW HOW.!"They didn't jump this time. "I just i don't know how to tell you okay? I don't know how to say that man torched me for weeks on end! Hitting me, kicking me, punching me. How he use to make my skin black an blue. How he use to carve things in my skin. How much blood i lost, how many hospital trips i had to make. How many broken bones i had. How at one point he hurt me so bad my heart stopped beating.! How when he finally got tired an bored of me he threw me out making me live on the streets. i don't know how to tell you that my mother died because of me.! That it was my fault.! I don't know how to get over it and move on. I don't know how to tell you guys that I'm alone because she left me because he hates me. I don't know how to tell you any of it because I don't know how you will take it. I don't want you guys in the middle. You could get hurt! I care about that! I care that your safe from him. He made me leave you guys.! He said he would hurt you more then he ever hurt me. So i left okay? I just left because i love you guys. Your all i had left i couldn't loose you to."My eyes widened surprised that i said everything i held in. That it was easy to tell them and i didn't mean to. I never wanted to tell them yet i just said everything leaving not one thing out. They were all looking at me Liam surprised, Louis mad, harry small tears coming from his eyes. I felt tears coming from my eyes but i didn't care.
"Niall I..."Liam stopped lost for words.
"You should have told us! We would have helped! I would have killed him!"Louis said angry tears now falling from his eyes. Harry climbed onto my lap flinging his arms around me repeatedly saying sorry. I felt like i am hurting them again. I came here to stop hurting them, To stop hurting myself but i failed. I always fail.
"Its not your fault Ni. Your mothers death was not your fault. She loved you and she would never want to see you this way. Your not alone, You have us and always will. Please stop crying. Please I'm sorry i yelled at you, I didn't know. You hurt us but now we know why, Nobody is mad Ni okay? He will pay for what he did but for now lets just take care of you." All three of them huddled around me once more. hugging me whispering its okays and its not your fault. I wanted to believe them but how could I? An why was Zayn still on my mind. he hurt me he left me and yet here i am.
"There is something else you should know."they all looked up at me. "Zayn he isn't okay either. He goes through the same thing. His dad hurts him and i didn't do anything to stop it. He left me like everyone else but i still care. I still need to make sure he is okay."
"Zayn? He goes through...Why didn't he tell us?"Liam said angry again.
"Its not an easy thing to say."He looked at me for one moment nodded and looked away.
"Well we will just have to figure out how to save him to."He looked at me again. "How did you know? Did he tell you?"
"Didn't have to I know the look anywhere. Plus i met his father."
"I didn't think you to were that close. i thought he was just a random guy that figured out you were homeless."
"Nothing is ever random Li, I know zayn just as well as he knows me."
"Well tell me everything, From the beginning and we will figure this out. Now that your safe and home we need him to be to."
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Hi.! Okay shorter then usual but just a filler of sorts. Kinda needed to happen so the next chapter makes sense. Sorry for late update been going through rough patch but things are looking up so ill update allot quicker now :). Let me know how you liked it and what you think is going to happen?. Loveeeeeee feedback and predictions. Sorry for any mistakes I'm sure there are tons and as always thanks for reading it means the world to me :)
