June 9th 2012
I found myself wondering why this all happened. Like what did i do to deserve this? I kept thinking things like "Ash, just jump, you'll be fine" or "Ash you know you were never loved." And i started to believe myself little by little. I remember in school and on tv it said if you were suicidal call the hotline. I thought that would never happen to me. I'd never ever be in this position. Im at the edge. Its not the edge of glory like that Lady GaGa song. More like the kind that if you fell down it you will already be considered dead. Even when you scream as you fall and people hear it they will consider you dead, because theres no saving you from the edge.
The edge was a scary place. It was also the prettiest place for miles. Cas, Bella, Alex, Mari and I use to go all the time with our parents. Cas and I were probably the best of friends. Well cousins too but besties all the same. Mari and Bella were practically sworn enemies. None of us liked Bella. Alex and Bella were twins which was a scary thought. Bella was considered the unwanted child. Mari and Alex were adorable. It was obvious that Mari and Alex had a thing for each other. Bella hated Alex for it. Mari was like my sister. When her parents passed we took her in. We were all almost like family. We all practically loved each other. I thought that. Until i heard someone scream my real name which nobody ever really said at all. But when i turned around and saw what happened it was too late.
