Hi my name is Coleen, I am 15 Years old and tomorrow I'm turning 16, I'm so excited, I think? I live in a foster home, My mamma died in a car crash, so did my dad, they were in a truck, my dads a trucker, what happen was, my father was taking my mother on their 13th anniversary, then these teenagers thought of doing that thing where you turn off the lights and turn them on again and keep doing it, I was in that car and I actually thought it was fun, until I saw my mother and father in the car, I told all my friends to stop but they didn't listen then all of a sudden BANG! My mother and father crashed into a tree, I woke up in hospital the next morning not realising what happen until their was flowers saying sorry for your lost all i could remember was that they had all blood over them and we had a couple of drinks and we were coming back from a party and we decided to do an after party at mine.
I wish I could bring them back every day of my life i wish i could just leave and never come back, my love of my life he left me why? he forgot who i was but nothing else so i guess he would never love me again after a two years of me getting in through my head that he will never be mine again, I still won't give up but I guess I would of had too one day, my other friends there okay, we stopped talking because I blamed them Tiara and Crivite but luckily one of them is still my friends.
I'm about to leave the door for school, I'm all ready to hang myself, my foster home is right across from school, my schools the worst, we have a school bus, I use to take it but then my parents died, it used to be good, now it's horrible only 2 wheels are working, our school went down hill when Charlotte sewed the school, she was a rich bitch, when I say bitch I mean bitch, like one day I was walking to the cafeteria and I saw her yelling at a girl saying 'why do you cut yourself that's just off, why don't you just kill yourself you ugly piece of trash, no one likes to see your cuts you WHORE!' Those were the exact words, how can I remember ? That girl was my best friend, she cuts herself because her dad raped her until she was 12 she tried to run away but every time she did her dad would start to choke her, she hated it, she had all bruises all over her body, she tried to call the police so many times, but every time she did they didn't believe her, because her whole family were nut cases, everyday her mother would call the police to get the husband arrested, but they wouldn't I don't know why. But one day she did it, she robbed a bank, knowing she wouldn't get away with it and she ended up in Jail, and a day before that we had an huge argument over it, I told her not to do it, but she just didn't care.
I arrived at school and i went straight to the basement I didn't want to wait any longer I just wanted to get it over and done with , I made a note saying, 'hey guys I'm gone, by the time you read this I will be dead, thanks for showing me how much you's cared, I guess this is goodbye' that's if anyone bothers to read it, I didn't have much to say so I got the rope and everything, I started to cry, but I knew I had to do it, I need to see them.
"Excuse me? Why are you trying to kill yourself?" A boy said, I looked at him and turned my head back around as he read the note even more, "listen i dont know who you are but to be honest i dont care okay so go away" I spoke I didn't really care "643 days of me trying to die in a row and I didn't want to I wanted to see why that would of happen for but hey? But no no no nooooo reason at all my life's just a stupid mistake so if you don't mind go away and let this be my final breathe" I started to cry but tried not to cry he walked away and I was ready the rope was around my neck tightly I squeeze removed the chair I fell to the ground I looked around I wasn't dead, or maybe this was death? The rope was cut great tomorrow another one here comes 644, I looked around to see what had happen the boy was just standing there he looked at me and smile, why was he smiling? Was that funny ?
"Why ? Why ? Why can't I die why? Why is my life so bad ? Arghhh WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!!" My sadness turned into anger"
"I'm sorry señorita, i just thought.. Ill go. No I won't, please don't kill yourself, your a beautiful lady,and your here for a reason for me ? it was luck i found you,you don't deserve to die, not yet, come here ill give you a hug, I'm Lucas Venitori your life saver and you are?"
"My names Coleen Criperl, your new enemy "
"Your a beautiful girl, your my new wife" he said
"No no no no NO!!!" Jesse came into my head how he said that one day me and he were going to get married our family's and friends were going to be there my whole life without got even more in my head, made me want to just die even more
"I'm joking" he said grabbing me on my hips
"I don't take jokes when it comes to love, I don't need your shit"
"Why so mean?"
"I was finally going to die to be happy to see my my my" my mouth was lost, my mind blanked out, small little turns were in my head just repeting, 'den den dent den den dent' all over again
"Oh sorry i wont do it again so your in year 10?
"Uhmm yeah how did you know?" I questioned
"Cool we can go to class together?"
"Uhhhmmmm is this a joke?"
"No are you a cheerleader "
"No"
"Good"
"Okay"
"Do you know why I said good?"
"No I don't"
"Because most of them girls are stuck up and fake"
"Okay"
"Sorry am I boring you ?"
"Urghhh no "
"Wanna hang out after school?"
"Are you kidding me? No!"
He walked off like I did something, I just said are you kidding me no and he gets all angry what is that? I know he's just faking it, no one ever talks to me why do you think I'm upset? Why do you think I tried to kill myself ? Urgfh is this guy okay? I felt kind of bad but like I know it's a prank, but I should say sorry even if it is..
I walked into class and every one looked at me like I killed 300 people, I just stopped and stared at everyone looking at me, I felt like just walking out of class, but no I didn't I just sat down at my normal spot, the teacher called out the names, as soon as she said Lucas I looked at him, and he looked at me in that heart broken way, but why would be heart broken? I didn't break his heart, one of the. cheerleading girls Francine tapped my shoulder, what's with everyone today I looked behind me, "can I help you?" I asked, "yeah what did you do to the exchanged student kid?" She asked, I looked at her in that what face, I realised that he doesn't know about me, us the only one in school that doesn't know me, I had a go at him, and it's his first day, my heart sank into a million pieces, he must hate me, I didn't mean it, I'm just angry, as class went by he just stared at me the whole time like I was some kind of show, it's strange how the cheerleader talked to me, when class finished I knew I had to make it up to the exchanged student, I had to say sorry, I went to his locker "hey urghh sorry about before I didn't mean it ummm if you want we can hang out after school and ill tell you all about it?" I looked at him waiting for a reply he just stared, then his mouth started to open he said "yes" I quickly walked off to class.
I went in and saw all the girls sitting by my chair all around it laughing, there was no teacher, I walked out of class until the teacher came.
"Oi loser" they screamed
I didn't say anything or even look I knew what they were going to say.
