My dirty, Forbidden secret

Ch. 1

I get in the car to head to school and my phone starts buzzing. I pull it out of my purse and check and it's a text from Keith.
Can't wait to see you baby!
I respond with you too babe and sigh.

Three nights ago
Its Friday day night and my friends are begging me to go to a party. Keith isn't going and so I feel like I shouldn't even go. After them nagging at me, I decide to go anyway.

We arrive and it's already the heat of the party. People are drunk! There's a what appears to be a fourteen-year-old throwing up in the living room. It almost looked like a collage party. Drunk girls and guys throwing themselves at each other.

"Hey, do wanna get a drink?" My friend Megan asks.
I wasn't really a big fan of drinking but I decided to do it anyway. That was probably my first mistake.

As the night went on, and I had countless shots of vodka and too many beers, I didn't really know what was happening anymore.

The next thing I knew, I was in a bedroom. It wasn't that loud anymore. There wasn't anyone in the room but me and this girl. She was kissing me. I didn't even know who she was... Does she know I have a boyfriend? Is she insane? I try to get up but she just continues, as one hand is running through my hair and the other is on one of my boobs. I tried to blurt out the words that I had a boyfriend and I was into men but instead this came out:
"I have a friend!"

She laughed and said "is your friend down here?"

And she slid her hand down my body and into my pants. Her hand was already warm from my boobs. She slid one of her fingers inside me and I moaned.
Don't moan dammit! You can't possibly like this! This isn't right! You love Keith!
After that thought I knew I had to do something.
I managed to grab her wrist. The hard part was to have the strength to move it.

"You want more?" She started sliding down my body and her face was suddenly in the place her hand used to be, and my pants and underwear were on the ground.

"N" was the only syllable I could get out.
I put my hands on her head and tried pushing them away from me but she took this the wrong way and thought I was enjoying this.
Was I? Stop it! Don't think like that! Of coarse you don't like this!

"S-st-stop!" I finally said.

"What's wrong? I'm sorry!"

She decided to just lay next to me with her arm on my stomach.

"You didn't like it, did you?"

Part of me wanted to say yes but I couldn't of admitted that.

"I-" there was a brief pause as I took a breath. "I'm d-drunk!" I slurred out.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry! I feel like I took advantage of you! Are you even into girls? I mean you were all over me so I assumed......"

What?! Now I was really confused!

"I-" I tried telling her I absolutely didn't like girls like that, and that I had a boyfriend! But of coarse that didn't come out.
"I don't know!" I slurred. "I like you!"

Dammit! Why did I say that! That's not at all what I wanted to say!!

"Okay good!" She snuggled her head onto my chest. I'm not sure how long we laid there but it felt like forever.

The next thing I knew I was throwing up in a garbage can at Megan's house. We were in her room and the clock read 3:56 AM. Jesus!
After that there's no memory.

The next day

I awake in a massive hang over. Megan is passed out next to me. What the hell happened?! Then suddenly the memories start flashing back to that girl.... I'm not a lesbian! I get defensive in my own thoughts.
A few minutes after waking up, I run to the bathroom that's connected to megan's room and throw up.
As I rinse my face with cold water I can't get the thoughts of that girl out of my head. I don't like girls dammit! I'm with Keith!!! Ugh! Then I sigh out loud.
I try to just collect my thoughts but the more I thought about it the more confused I got. Then I remembered "you were all over me, so I assumed".
Damn, none of it made since. I threw up again and that time it woke up megan.

"Dude, you act like it's your first time. You okay in there?"

Actually, it was my first time. I had drank before, but never like that. Never to the point of obliterated drunk, and where I couldn't remember everything from the night before.

"Dude?"

I choked and finally said in a shaking voice "I'm fine".

I washed out my mouth and walked back into her room.

"Do you know where my phone is, or most of my stuff?" I asked.

"Yeah, everything's in a pile over in that corner, even my stuff from last night".

I dig through the two purses, two jackets a hat, and two pairs of shoes and find my phone at the bottom. It's blown up from 6 missed calls and 18 new text messages all from Keith except a message from an unknown number, in which I didn't read. I was suprised my mom didn't call, but I told her I was spending the weekend at Megan's.
The first message I read was the last one he sent and it said:
I'm really worried so I hope you're safe. Just get ahold of me when you can, I'm going to work. I love you!

I scrolled through the messages and almost all of them were asking if I was safe and asking where I was.
I messeged him back saying:

Sorry babe, I didn't check my phone. I just woke up. I'm at megs and I'm fine. Love you too, and sorry for worrying you.

With that I set my phone down and didn't know what to do from there.