His Hidden Little Secrets

June 16th, ADC

"Saige, Saige St. George, wake up!" Someone shakes me, trying to wake me up.

"What the hell...?" I mumble as I sit up in bed. It's still dark out and I can hardly see a thing. "What's going on? Who are you?" I say to the person. I feel fear growing inside of me quickly.

"It's me, Braden," he whispers. "Come here. Come with me."

"But, it's like..." I look over at my alarm clock. Oh my gosh. "2:30am!"

"I know, but we need to go. It's about your ex."

"My ex?"

Oh. Carter.

"Can't we just wait until the morning? And he's not necessarily my ex, you know," I state.

My eyes have adjusted to the darkness and I see Braden, dressed in a white t-shirt and basketball shorts, looking at me up and down. I feel my cheeks burn when I realize that my blanket is at the end of my bed and I'm wearing only a navy blue sports bra and my favorite lacy panties, which is normally the type of outfit that I wear to bed; but not meant to be seen. I grab the blanket and pull it over me.

"Don't look," I say, and he holds his gaze for another moment before he covers his eyes with his hands. He was probably peaking, though.

I tossed off my blanket and threw on a t-shirt that was laying on my floor, and I quickly run over to my drawer and pull on some simple black shorts.

"You can look now, Perv," I nudge, and we quietly sneak out of my house. I wasn't surprised that Braden got in so easily. We always forget to lock the doors and my parents are heavy sleepers.

"So, what's up?" I ask him as we get into his Ford Explorer.

"I couldn't sleep and I can't stop thinking about Carter's mom," he says. "Oh, and by the way, I'm not mad at you. Not anymore."

"Thanks," I reply, glancing down at my wrist. Shit, why didn't I grab a sweatshirt or something instead of a t-shirt?!

"But anyways, I swear on my dead, sweet hamster's grave that Carter's mom killed him. Like, she probably came home crazy and drunk that night, got in a fight with him, killed them, then hid his body and made it look like a suicide."

"Think what you want, but I'm almost positive that it was a suicide now. Like, think logically. Carter's mom is a nice person, Carter was kind of was depressed now that I think about it, and Carter's suicide note was written in his hand writing."

"You can think that. That's an easy way out. But I still have a gut feeling that it was murder. It had to be, you know?"

"I almost wish it was murder," I sigh. "Suicide is the worst way to die."

"Yeah, and honestly, I don't understand how people can feel so sorry for themselves and how people are so desperate for attention that they decide to kill themselves. Like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And Carter doesn't seem like one of those psychopaths."

Ouch. That comment cut deeper than my razor.

I suddenly found myself breaking down into sobs uncontrollably. I know I have post traumatic stress disorder and probably depression, but I don't want attention. I don't necessarily feel sorry for myself. It's just that I HURT and I BLEED emotionally and physically. It's that I can't live with the pain and I want to die because of it.

"Wait, what's wrong? Was it something I said?" Braden asked, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I lifted my arm with my kind-of fresh cuts on it and showed it to him, and he gasped.

"Saige... No no no... Saige... You don't... You didn't..."

"Yes, Braden, I cut myself."

He was quiet for a moment. Then he yelled, "Shit, Saige, shit! How could you be so stupid?! Why do you do this?! Do you just want attention too?! Are you trying to feel what Carter supposedly felt of something?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

I buried my face in my hands and continued to cry as he yelled at me. Why don't I go and kill myself right now? Why don't I have him run me over with his car?

After Braden was done yelling, I could feel him looking at me for a long time. "Saige, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I'm just upset that you hurt yourself. It hurts me so much to see you hurt."

I look up at him and for some weird reason, I almost melt. He looks so perfect in the dark car with only the lights by the front seats on; his dark eyes looked even bigger now, his hair was messy but cute, and the light almost contoured his muscular biceps. And his lips...

He exhales sharply when he makes eye contact with me. His pupils grow even bigger and he bites his lip.

"My God, Saige St. George. You're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

My face grows hot again and I look away. I couldn't believe that anyone would find me beautiful with no makeup, bed head, in a t-shirt, and with fresh cuts.

I feel Braden put his hand at the back of my neck and trace his fingers down my jawline until he reaches my chin. "Look at me," he whispers.

I dare not.

"Please," he begs. "Just look at me. Forgive me."

Wow, he was a lot like Carter. Probably why they were friends.

"Maybe you should forget about Carter," he says, as if he was reading my mind. "Just think about us. You and I."

He used his fingers on my chin to turn my head towards him, and he gazed into my eyes.

"Saige... Saige Linnea..."

Wait, how did he know my middle name?! Only my parents and Carter and Kristen knew it!

He leaned in close to me and I stopped breathing for a second, then he....

TO BE CONTINUED :))))