Blinded

Hello there~! It's been so long!! Hi hi hi hi! I was on hiatus with writing because I realized I suck at it. Hehe, but now I'll take a shot on it once more. Hopefully you guys will like it!!! :))) (more notes at the end hihi)

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I wonder why. I never understand him, everything about him is just... is just mysterious. He's all out, but never too all out. He never gives the truth, tainted truths?
I always, always try to figure him out, to find the key, to unravel the mystery, to understand him but as if a Mimosa pudica (sensitive plant or makahiya in filipino), he coils up in a ball letting his protective shields surround him never lets me in.

Maybe it's because I'm never a someone for him, maybe I'm just some girl trying to take a spot in his life. Maybe I'm just some girl. Some girl. But this girl cares for him and I don't care how much hurt I could get just to be able to pass through your walls, your walls of concrete that I'm willing to take down bare handedly. I'm more than willing to these things because it's you, but you never let me.

"Hey" I say.
"Hey" he replies eyes locked in his console, and his back slouched towards the table that his forehead almost hits the edge of the table.
I take the seat across him, we're at a cafe. He called me earlier saying he has something important to say and he can't be any more patient.
"So what's the "important thing" you want to say and can't wait any longer?" I say gesturing quotation marks using both hands while stressing on the words "important thing" because as much as I'm concerned there's nothing important here if he's still able to play his games. I even cancelled my schedule for the day because of that "important thing" he wants to say.
"Seventeen" he says.
"What?" I asked raising my voice a bit. Because 1) he ignored my question and 2) he keeps his head down, not even bothering to face me or to check if it's actually me he's seeing and not someone else. Gosh I can't believe this guy.
"Seventeen" he repeats himself. Ugh this guy! Seriously?!?
"I'll take my leave here, bye" I say as I step out of my seat but as I walk pass him, a hand stopped me. I turn around to face and was about to yell at him when our eyes met.

I've never seen anything as sad and dark as those eyes in my entire life.

"Just sit down" he says but my gaze is still locked with his, I can't bring myself to move. "Please" he says his voice small and fragile as if he'll break if he say anything more.

I pull myself together and take the seat in front of him once more.

Silence filled the air between us, but it wasn't awkward nor tense. It was fragile that if one of us dared to speak something will break. After a few moments of silence, Nino starts stretching and yawning.

"Let's go" he says as he stands up then he take me by the hand and we head out of the cafe.

I don't get you Nino.

We walk towards his car, I don't wait for hims to open the door for me since I can do it myself. His car is good for two persons, and his reasons for it is because he lives alone and doesn't go out much so why need a bigger car? Egoistic brat.

"Where are we going?" I ask as I buckle myself in the passenger's seat.
"You'll see" he says while plastering that irritating smirk on his face that never fails to make my heart flutter.

The drive was quiet, I don't feel like talking to him. I occasionally glance at my phone, eyeing the time and the date. The time flies by quickly while the date remains constant. It doesn't change no matter how much time changed the date is still 06-17-15.
I don't bother to start a conversation and never will. He wasted my day, and I don't think he deserves to waste my day when all he does is to push me out of his life. I don't get him and now I'm starting to get pissed at myself for not being able to have his trust. Because if he does trust me, he'll let me in but despite being friends with him since forever I'm still here. I'm stuck here, the same spot I was when I met him. I hate myself for not being good enough and for not getting mad at him because I can't. I can't get mad at him no matter how hard it is for me to endure the hurt each and every time he pushes me away.

I didn't notice that the car stopped. I didn't notice that were at the beach. I didn't notice it was this late that the sun is about to set. I turned to face him and I didn't notice that he was staring at me.

He leans closer, his hands reaching to touch me. He wipes something off of my cheek.

"Don't cry" he says.

I didn't even notice that I was crying.

"I'm sorry" I quickly say.
"We're here" he says as he stares at the beach and the impending sun hovering right above the horizon.

His voice is calm and I feel the gates into him open but I won't hold my hopes up. I don't want to take the risk.
He takes a cloth? from the trunk then he gestures me to follow him.
"Why are we here?" I ask but he only shrugs at me as an answer. Instead of yelling at him, I simply followed him quietly.

I watch him as he lays the cloth on the sand. I actually love going to the beach which in contrast is something that Nino hates to do. He hates the beach and it's a wonder why he brought me, us here.
"You can sit here if you want" he looks up at me and taps the space next to him. I gladly took to his offer and sat comfortably beside him.
Not long after sitting beside him when he starts talking.
"I really like sunsets and sunrise, I want to see the sun come and go. I might not be keeping an eye on it the whole day, but seeing it come and go puts me at peace. I don't get it myself so don't overthink too much about it" and he keeps on talking that I doubt I'm able to absorb everything. So I silently stared at the sun as it disappear from my sight.
His silence brought me back and as I was about to say something

"Thank you" he whispers almost to himself but I heard it, so I ask
"For what?"
"For being here" I turn to face him because this is not Nino. He's never this mushy to me. "and count everything else. Thank you"
Then he's facing me too. I can't find the words in me to say something, speak up! At least something. Speaaak! But no sound escapes my mouth. Then he's facing away from me when he starts talking once more.
"You don't have to say anything, so  don't force yourself. Ah! By the way, today's my birthday and that's the important thing I want to tell you and was trying to tell you earlier" he looks at me, his expression changed upon seeing me. He looks worried then he takes my face in his hands. "Why do you keep crying? I don't want to see you cry okay? Especially during my birthday" he says as he wipes my tears away using his thumb. Again, I tried to find my voice and speak but the sounds that escaped my mouth were nothing but a series of broken and slurred words. I don't even understand why I'm crying, I just do and I can't stop my tears from falling. "I already told you that you don't have to speak if you can't, don't push yourself."

I gather whatever it is that's left in me and said "I-I d-don'-t-t g-ge-get y-youu N-Nino" it's not a question but I'm waiting for his answer and instead of saying something, he pulled me into a tight hug. Something he never did before, for he always keeps his hand around my shoulders. "I like you" he pauses and I'm scared that he'll take it back or address it as a joke "no I think it's more than that. I love you, okay?" His grip on me tightens but not too tight to suffocate me, it's the kind of warm and comfortable hug. My tears gradually came into a stop as I returned the hug. "And I'm sorry if I did nothing but push you around and hurt you. I was worried that I'm not good enough for you, because you deserve someone better and not just someone like me" his voice starts breaking that's why I held him tight.

"I'm in love with you. Stupid!" I say then I start to laugh and everything else feel so light and easy then he slowly, after processing the things I just said, starts laughing as well.

"Look at us, crying then laughing. We're a pair of losers that's why we fit" I say but then he laughs at me.
"As clear as I can remember, you were the only one who cried. You cried up to the point that you can't speak." then he starts cracking up.
"Brat!" I shout at him.

He might be protected but somehow I learned how to make my way through.

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As promised the Author's note. I can't remember the initial plot for this story since I just saw this in my drafts dated last August and there's only a description but no head start or anything. So I decided to finish it now. This is not the way I expected the ending to be but nonetheless I liked it and I hope you like it toooo. :)) that's all hehe