Dear Old Nicki... (Nicki Minaj Love Story)

Chapter One - The Beginning

"Great show tonight, Nic." said my stylist, Monique.

"Thanks." I said plainly and went back to working.

Hi. I'm Nicki Minaj. You may know me as the crazy, wild, female rapper signed to Lil Wayne's Young Money label. I may seem mean, but you don't know me. It took me a long time to get here and I thank God that I made it because I sure as hell, at one point in time, was about to give up.

I grew up in South Jamaica, Queens, New York (yeah, the ghetto) , but I was born in Trinidad. Ever since my father set the house on fire with my mother in it, I have grown a certain...distaste for men and their dog-like ways. But, I'm not a lesbian if that's what you were thinking. Actually, I've been in love but I've also been hurt. A hurt so strong, that it almost compells you to lie in bed all day instead of working on your career.

It was a couple of years back. I was seventeen and Savon was eighteen. I thought we were blissfully happy, but I was wrong. A couple of months into our relationship, we moved in together. I know you might be saying, "That's a little too fast, Nicki.", but I was in love with him. Deeply in love.

About three months after that, I found out that he had been cheating on me with his ex, Janae. I was so hurt but so in love. And out of that love, I took him back. We were happy again for another year, until he started beating me.

One night, he came storming in from work. I was in the bedroom laying down watching BET. Next thing you know, he storms in our small bedroom.

"Whats wrong, babe?" I interrogated.

"Who the hell was you in the studio with, Nicki?!" his voice boomed.

"What are you talking about?!" I countered.

"I came to the sudio on my lunch break to surprise you. But, when I get to your studio room, you wanna know what I hear? Moaning. I hear moaning in your damn studio!"

" I didn't even go to the studio today! I don't know what you're talking about!" I yelled back.

"Oh, you wanna yell now! Come here!"

He grabbed me forcefully and pulled me towards him. I tried to break free of his grip but I couldn't. He slapped me for squirming around too much. Then, he threw me on the floor and before I could get up, he was on top of me. He knew I was a virgin and I wasn't ready for sex, but he still pushed it.

"What are you doing?!" I screamed "I'm not ready for this!"

He slapped me once more. "Shut up! You were ready when you were in the studio!"

He covered my mouth, pulled down my pants and entered me. I screamed because it hurt but yet he went as hard as he could go. When he was finished, he asked me what I wanted for dinner like everything was back to normal. I shook my head to signal that I wasn't hungry and he waltzed back into the kitchen.

This was the new routine. Everyday when he got home, he would find an excuse to beat and rape me. After a while, I stopped trying to fight it and just let him do it. But, no one never knew that I was being beaten or raped because he would buy me MAC so I could cover the bruises. But, MAC couldn't cover the scar on my heart.

A few months later, I told him how I felt and he apologized. He even proposed. I was so young and naiive that I said yes.

But, It would all come crashing down once more and it was then that I had decided to leave him. I gathered my shit that night and I was out. I took my car a drove to Brooklyn and crashed at my friends house.

And thats how I got to this point in my love life. My heart is once again cold, hard, and mean.

*****

I hope y'all enjoyed this first chapter!!!

- Nicki's Barbie