Oh Shit!!!

Black*Star could actually feel the awkward.

He glanced once, twice, three times between Captain Albarn's face (which was beginning to turn a reddish purple, oh fuck), his best friend's face (Soul was currently attempting to slink back into his chair and melt away) and the framed picture of the all-too familiar looking girl on said Captain's desk.

It took him about a minute to put the pieces together. Framed photo of a girl. Older captain. Pigtails.

Soul had held those pigtails like reigns and 'tamed the beast', Black*Star remembered saying. And Soul had rolled his eyes and smacked him and told him to shut the hell up about it and that he shouldn't have said anything at all.

Black*Star remembered, because his best broseph in the history of forever had still bragged about it to him, despite his better judgement. And the captain.

Their notoriously promiscuous captain, who laughed and clapped his hand to the younger male's in victory.

Their notoriously promiscuous captain, who was currently going through a divorce.

A ding went off somewhere in his head and he promptly lost it.

He cackled wildly and slammed his feet down onto the floor, too-big sneakers clunking down whilst crying out a mantra of "oh SHIT, oh SHIT!"

Soul's expression was positively thunderstruck. But Black*Star was already too far gone, too damn amused and choking on his laughter to lighten up. He grabbed onto his arm and laughed harder, shaking him and cackling right in his terror ridden face.

"You FUCKED the captain's daughter!" he shouted. "You FUCKED the captain's DAUGHTER. CAPTAIN ALBARN'S DAUGHTER!"

It was the funniest fucking thing in the world. Soul Evans, brooding pissbaby extraordinaire had actually manned the fuck up enough to get laid and he picked the captain's little princess, of all women! He fucked their superior's pride and joy! Soul had the worst luck in the world and damn, Black*Star sure hoped the lay was worth it.

By this point, he was well out of his seat and jumping down the stairs — everyone had to know. The whole goddamn world had to know about how Soul's rare sexual encounter had gone up in flames because he had picked the only woman in the world that could have endangered his job. And life, because Captain Albarn kept a blade in his drawer and it was currently sitting in the center of his desk and pointed at Soul.

Fucking hilarious. Goddammit.

He was rounding off the last of his wave of high fives (Kilik was chucking and Tsubaki looked mildly concerned) before prancing back into the office and oh, Soul was never living this down. Ever.

"Bro. Broseidon. SHARK BRO," he guffawed. "Do you even — you fucked his daughter! HIS!"

"My precious darling Maka," Captain Albarn growled. "You defiled her."

"DEFILED—!? He rode her like she was a champion show pony!"

Soul looked like was contemplating offing himself with the blade and just getting it over with before Captain Albarn beat him to the punch. or before Black*Star had the chance to tell the medi(i'm so fucking proud of myself for writing this) I iz proud of u 2-Maddie.

a.

Shit, he should tell the media!

"I just— THIS IS GREAT. YOU FUCKED UP. LITERALLY. YOU FUCKED UP."

"Shut your fucking face," Soul was grinding his teeth.

"MY FUCKING FACE? YOU FUCKED HER FACE."

Captain Albarn slammed his fist onto the desk and Black*Star crumbled back into his chair. Oh. Wait. Bros were supposed to stick up for one another.

Riiiight.

"... She enjoyed it, though! I bet she told you that!"

Soul groaned and slid further into his chair.