B.E. Fitzgerald- My Youth Pastor Cringes

"I don't know if there is a god
or if god is just all of my relatives
forming a nebula somewhere
deep past earth
that one day I will collide with.
Honest, all of my ghost stories
are just stories
and angels are nothing but
dust dancing
in front of windows these days.
I don't think I want to believe
in divine right
or divine mothers
or divine vaginas.
I don't want to believe that
serial killers can become saints
if they pillow-talk the right way.
We are all bastards and broken
and there is no hope in that;
only sick solidarity.
All I know is that love is not finite.
I know that long after my
body becomes a cadaver,
after the rats use my limbs
as a winter home,
this love will remain.
The way you hold me at 3am
following another nightmare
will still radiate through these walls
hundreds of tenants past us.
One day, another couple
will sleep in this same room
and make up lies
to explain away how the
floorboards creak in a rhythm.
They will not know,
can not know,
that it is still our bodies touching,
still us trying to prove that
people can take in each other.
That something can
latch on through the eons.
That we,
that this,
that us,
that earth,
that orgasm,
that god,
is something we can summon
if we lay hands
on each other in the right way."— b.e.fitzgerald (my youth pastor cringes)