The Truth About Love

The journey to being Broken

My name is Victoria. I am 17 years old and I live in London, and I am quite broken actually. May I tell you my dilemma?
I, am in love. Now don't tell me what my parents have told me. They said "you're too young to be in love Victoria! Don't be silly!"
Or, my mother said that anyway; my father just scoffed and crossed his arms. I attempted to talk sense into him and explain but he looked cross; I gave up.

I tried to tell my father: "Dad, I have had feelings for this same boy for three years now. We've gone out a few times yes but, we have both changed and matured. When we went out we were much younger. I didn't deal with anger well and he was angered easily. I would panic and he would end it. Dad you must believe me. I love him." Of course all he did was scoff but this is a story so you can't; not in person anyway.
Ok well either way this boy I'm in love with, he is the sparkle in my eye. I would do anything for him, I'd give anything to keep him. His name is Cole. He's sweet and cute and understanding. He just gets me in a way no one else does. He's my best friend and ... I just ... I love him. There's no other way to put it. I have hopelessly fallen in love with someone I have no chance with. Not to mention he has a girlfriend. She's prettier and skinnier than me but, no doubt I'm smarter and nicer. If only smart and nice won guys. Not pretty and skinny. No wonder girls are always so self conscious.
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It was months after school ended and I was officially a junior. My mother had decided we should move just weeks before school started. I was torn; I was leaving my friends and my school. Not to mention my love. He would never truly know how I felt about him. How much he had meant to me. All I could do was complain to my friends about the same thing everyday; yes I was going to miss them but, it was just harder to leave without the one you truly love knowing you love them.

So I was talking with a few girls the night before I left. I was continously asking if I should tell him. If he should know that I'm hopelessly in love with him. We all agreed on yes, he should know. The next part, was figuring out how to say it.

I wrote a few of my closer friends farewell notes. Cole was one of them. I had decided that I'd write him another stating how I felt. It just explained simply how I love him and care about him blah blah blah. Of course I didn't expect this note to change anything between him & I. He would still be my best friend and come to me for help; we'd still be close. I hoped. The only difference is he knew how I felt and I got it off my chest. Him and his girlfriend would still be together and I'd be in my new home. Nothing really changes except my location.
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Honestly, I wanted things to change. I wanted just one more solid chance. I didn't expect it; but of course I wished for it. I dont really like the way his girlfriend treats him but he seems happy. I don't want to interfere with his happiness at all; it means so much to me when he smiles. He makes my world a brighter place when he is joyful. I've noticed lately, his girlfriend makes him feel quite bad about himself. She makes rude remarks and upsets him a lot. He's being and adult about the situation and trying to talk it out but, I don't think it's worth it. Reguardless of the apologies and arguments- no partner should ever make the other feel miserable. I don't believe that that is something you just deal with. You talk and get it over with? No, I don't think so. To me it's more like "Hey, so lately you have been making me feel like crap about myself and kind of hurting me. I've tried talking to you about it but you don't listen and it's ridiculous! I'm done with this. I want to be with someone that listens and doesn't just disregard what I say the first time I say it!" But that's not him. Cole is happy with his girlfriend. Sometimes, when she isn't being concieded and rude he's happy. So, despite my feelings on the topic, I am letting him choose what he wants. If that's her, then I support it; because that's what good friends do ... Right?