Shattered

Pain

18 MONTHS LATER

Jed's P.O.V

I woke up from a nightmare about Jane, I dreamt her crying my name, in a pitch black room; a very large room. I called her back, I tried getting to her. She sat there in a white gown; crying with a white light shining on her. Next thing I know I have that piece of glass in my hand and her lifeless body on my shoulder. I apologised to her, I should have found a way, I should have done something. But that something done was just not acceptable.

You did this

A heavy voice behind me said

I am so sorry Jane

I said pulling her close to me.

A huge blow of wind blew and her body turned to ash; flying away with the wind like widen fragments of a dandelion mustering with the rhythm of the wind. 

I then woke up. I have been having peculiar horrified nightmares since that particular day

Heyyy morning

A voice beside me said

And an fragile, lean arm touched my bare chest. My lower naked half was covered in the green silk sheets of my bed.

At an instinct I grabbed the wrist firmly and threw it away, I knew that was rude.

I am sorry

I said brushing her off.

As I quickly got up wrapped the green sheets around my waist to cover my naked body and left the room slamming the door behind me.

I wore my navy blue v neck t shirt and pulled up some pants; took out my Scotch from a small wine cabinet in the corner of my one bed room apartment. I shoved down about three quarters of the bottle.

It's the way I dealt with pain, I banged women from the bar and drank alot. I built up guilt for myself, this is the only way the pain would ease off. The only way to face guilt and pain is to not feel it. It hurt too godamme much.

I picked up my phone; dialled up my most recent and frequent out going call log; I put my phone on my ear for a minute or two and then put it back in my pocket when no one answered.

The girl from my bed room comes out. Tan, blond, skinny, short , in her skin tight short  gorgeous maroon silk

I will leave then Jed

Yeah okay....

I said in a drunk, cry ful voice.

Are you okay...

Thank you I am fine, ..... I am sorry miss I don't remember your name. The door's that way by the way

As I sipped the last of my wine and pointed at the door.

I can tell she was not pleased

It's Kate, you are a dick Jed, I thought...

I said nothing and stared at empty bottle that resided peacefully in my firm fist.

You know what, fine!! Whatever

A tear dropped from my right eye, which were almost blood red.

I wiped it away at an instinct, before she could see it.

I.... Who is Jane?

What? Who?

The name caught my attention

Jane, you called me Jane last night when we were you-know-what, and called her name constantly last night while you were sleeping .

I remained quite, I didn't know what to say. I felt rage and guilt running through my veins yet I took a deep breath and answered her,

She is no one, you can leave please

I don't know why I even bothered

Leave

I said raising my voice and straitening up my tone. She left ... Pissed.

I picked up my glass and threw at the wall shattering it into tiny pieces as the sunlight piercing through the large blinds of the large window in my living room casted their shadow all over me.

I cried, i put my head on my laps and sobbed loudly forcing my hands against my head.

My eyes were red and swollen, my head ached like a bitch and my whole body throbbed in pain, I was tired and i wanted it to stop, I wanted to undo the thing I did. I just needed the pain to become numb.

I lay on my couch and soon slipped into deep sleep knowing that the entire bottle of scotch has done its work.