Just A Crush? No, It's Love.

Razors, Not Just For Shaving. 6.

CAMERONS POV-

I left and then locked myself in Austin and I's room. Nobody really noticed I got up. Nobody really noticed when I went in there. After I locked the door I leaned my back against it and sighed. I hate when she comes over. I closed my eyes and then slid down the door till I was sitting on the floor with my knees to my chest. This is gonna be a long day. I sat there for about 15 minutes and decided that I was gonna take a shower. So I go up and went to take a shower. In the shower I mostly just stood there and thought about stuff. After I washed my hair and my body my razor caught my eye. I used to cut when I was about 14..now I'm 18. All of the memories of the cuts that were hidden in the back of my mind all came flooding back at once and it was so overwhelming I thought I was going to pass out. I immediately  started crying. No. No. No. No. I thought to myself. Cut cut cut cut. Yes yes yes yes. No. Yes. Cut. No. No. Yes. Cut cut cut. No. Yes. No....yes. I removed the blades from my razor and stared at them in my hand. I picked one up and put the others back. Not your wrist. If I cut there they'd see it. I placed the sharp edge of the blade to my stomach, not moving anymore. Do it. Do it. Do it. Yes. Cut. No. Yes yes yes. No. Yes. Yes. No...OKAY. YES. More tears spilled from my eyes as I pushed the blade so it would make a cut and then drug it across my skin. At first I didn't feel anything..it just felt like getting a shot. Not that bad. And then it stung like a bitch. Ow. I did it again. And again. And again...and again. When I was done the whole left side of my torso from the middle of my rib cage down to my hip was covered in cuts. Some deep. And some not. They were all stinging but now I just felt numb from the pain. I watched the blood and water run down my body onto the shower floor and down the drain. They bled a bit..and almost wouldn't stop..feeling like I'm going to bleed out I wait until they stop bleeding and get out of the shower. Now they sting again from the change of water to air hitting them. I whimper loudly. I get dressed and then slip the blade under the bathroom rug where hopefully no one will find it. I walk back into my room and lay on my bed. It hurts so bad.