Neil, photo credit: Alex Kaplan- http://www.alexkaplan.photography/Portfolio/Portraits/i-27LhV6J/0/D/©alexkaplan-D.jpg
http://www.alexkaplan.photography/Portfolio/Portraits/i-27LhV6J/0/XL/alexkaplan-XL.jpg
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4
Josh's POV
I sighed to myself as I sat in the kitchen, surrounded by papers. Lyrics, music, and melodies, scattered everywhere. The kids were at school, Joey was sleeping, and Hayley was at the studio again. I'd never admit it, but I am kind of jealous. I've been having such a hard time writing, let alone finding musicians to record with at a studio.
I looked at the lyrics I had just scribbled down, before crumpling them up and throwing them away. Why can't I come up with anything! Songwriting used to come so naturally to me. I guess anything's difficult when your trying to do it on your own.
I heard cries start to come through on the baby monitor in the living room. I quickly dashed upstairs to Joey's room, and picked him up out of his crib. I checked his diaper, clean. I checked his mouth, he didn't have any new teeth coming in. Finally, it hit me.
"You're hungry, aren't you bud?"
His loud wailing seemed to stop for a moment, and his big blue-green eyes stared at me. I tightened my hold on him and took him downstairs, sitting him in his highchair. I got a jar of apple sauce from the fridge and began feeding him.
After a couple bites he refused to open his mouth anymore. I tried to feed him the apple sauce, but he just pursed his lips and turned his head. I finally sighed and put the spoon down.
"C'mon JoJo, you gotta eat, bud."
Still nothing.
"Look! Here comes the airplane!"
I began humming and swerving the spoon side to side as it came closer to his mouth. He still wouldn't take the food. Okay, I've had it.
"Joseph William Farro, you open your mouth right now." I said, sternly.
"Mama!" Joey cried.
I sighed, "I'm not mama, bud. I'm daddy."
Suddenly I heard almost quiet giggling behind me. I turned around quickly, Hayley was standing by the kitchen counter with her purse on her arm and a hand covering her mouth. Now I realized why he wouldn't eat for me, he wanted Hayley to feed him.
"How long have you been there?" I asked.
"I came in about halfway through airplane." She barely got out between giggles.
I rolled my eyes and stood up. Hayley came over and latched herself onto my side. I smiled and wrapped my arms tightly around her waist, kissing the top of her head.
"You miss me Hayles?" I ask.
She doesn't say anything, instead she just nods against my chest. I give her a gentle squeeze, but pull away. I turn her to face me.
"Can you please feed Joey? He won't eat for me, just you."
Hayley laughed and nodded her head, taking my place in front of Joey.
"Hey baby boy! Did you miss mama?"
Joey smiled and clapped his little hands. I smiled. Every time I looked at one of the kids, I found myself being overcome with pride. I was proud to be a father, and nothing would ever change that. Ever again.
I sat next to Hayley, and for the next half hour watched her feed our son. Of course she pulled off the airplane better than I did, and Joey fell for it this time. I watched Hayley's smile brighten with every one of Joey's. Sometimes it amazed me, how truly incredible she is at being a mother, a wife, and a performer.
"Josh?"
I snapped out of my trance and looked at Hayley. She was holding Joey, who had applesauce all over his cheeks, and staring at me.
"I'm gonna go give Joey a bath, can you get dinner started?"
I nodded and watched her walk up the stairs.
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After we put the kids to bed, Hayley and I went to our room. We climbed into bed, and Hayley rested her head on my chest. I put my arm over her waist and kissed her forehead. We were quiet for a while, until I eventually asked how her day was.
"It went fine, T was there today and he did a couple backing tracks. I'm so close to convincing him to record a song of his own!"
I chuckled at her excitement. Then I laughed to myself as I pictured Taylor in a recording booth, probably having to do a million takes. He's still such a perfectionist.
Hayley turned her face up to me all of the sudden, with a strange look in her eyes. It seemed like a look of sympathy?
"Y'know," she began "with Jon away working on his new project, we have a vocal spot open, if you're interested?"
I rolled my eyes as I let out an auditory groan. She had been pushing me to help her with this new album because she's seen my frustration with creating my own music. But I don't want to be the guy that leaches fame off of his significant other. I want to make my own mark outside of Paramore.
"Hayles, I'm doing fine, things will pick up soon for me. You don't have to keep throwing pity opportunities my way!"
It must've come out harsher than I intended it too, because a surprised scowl took over Hayley's face. She lifted herself away from me and turned her back towards me. Dammit!
"Hayles," I whispered, putting a hand on her back. "I didn't mean to yell, but I wanna do this on my own, okay?"
Hayley scoffed, "whatever, I was just trying to help."
"I don't need your help!"
She flinched and I immediately regretted using that angry tone again.
"I'm sorry, baby." I apologized.
Hayley didn't respond. I rolled my eyes and turned my back towards her. Clearly, I wasn't going to get anywhere tonight. Maybe if she sleeps on it she'll forgive me. I'll probably have to apologize in the morning, anyways.
I turned the lamp on my side off and laid down, falling fast asleep.
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