Keeping Real - Ashton Irwin

Chapter 22

Just when I thought my world had slowed down to a casual pace, the college representatives told Calum and I they wanted to have a special meet to watch us and other elite swimmers in the area.

There would be a boys meet on Friday afternoon, and a girls meet on Saturday. The girls meet would take longer since there were over 20 girls from all around that were being observed and only about 5 guys.

Coach Kae upped our hours for practice and working out. Once again we were back on a rigorous schedule with a hard-to-follow diet. 

When we finely reached the Friday on which it was Calum's turn to swim, Leilani, Mali, and I made signs, and all of the boys gathered in the bleachers to cheer him on. While other boy's families were sitting with tense expressions, we yelled like maniacs.

Calum outperformed himself, swimming faster than most of the other boys, especially in freestyle. It was easy to see his potential.

The meet finished up with the representatives informing all of the boys that they'd be in touch. Calum made his way over to us, shopping wet and grinning.

Michael hollered his congratulations and jumped on Calum's back excitedly. Their friendship was incredibly adorable and it had grown since they had been together in the band.

They all decided that they'd go to pizza to celebrate Calum but I declined, telling them that I had to rest and prepare for my own meet.

"C'mon, Babe. Just for an hour," Ashton pleaded, but I had to say no, even though my heart fluttered at his words.

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Back at home, I stared at the mirror, attempting to gain some confidence for the next day. It would require all of my concentration, with absolutely no distractions.

I inspected my tattoo in the mirror; it had healed over quite nicely and I was loving it more and more. It reminded me that I had nothing to fear, and everything to gain.

I fell asleep that night dreaming of stars.

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I woke up with a bad head cold.

So much for no distractions. My aching head and runny nose seemed to require all of my attention. I refused to let the cold get in the way of my swimming, though.

I took a long, hot shower which only temporarily cleared my sinuses. As I pulled on my sweats I glanced in the mirror and was dismayed to find a puffer version of myself looking back. I looked horrible, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.

I ran down the steps to the kitchen, calling out for my mom and brother to hurry as I prepared some honey and tea for my sore throat.

"Luke! Mom!" I yelled out as I pulled on my flip flops. They had promised to drive with me to the meet and they weren't even up yet. Frustrated, I glanced at the clock. I had five minutes until I had to leave.

Climbing the steps two at a time, I rushed upstairs and into my brothers room, expecting to see his sleeping form underneath the covers. I was shocked to see that his room was vacant. It was a Saturday and he usually forbid anyone to wake him before the sensible hour of four pm. But this morning, he was missing.

I stormed into my mother's room to complain to her. Surely she'd call him from wherever he had gone and we could all just go to my swimming meet like a happy family. I should've known not to even hope we could be even remotely happy for even a second.

When I opened my mom's bedroom door she was no where to be found either. I couldn't believe that the two of them had left me alone on such an important day.

I grabbed my car keys off the kitchen table and left in an angry-and slightly sickly-haze. Once in the car I dialed my mother's number. Of course I got her voicemail. She had probably gotten called into work for an issue that was far more important than me.

Next I called Luke. Even a drunken reply would be better than the answer I got: absolutely nothing. Heaving a sigh, I pushed away all thoughts of my family. I knew that I'd get to the pool and the rest of the boys and Leilani would be there, and that was all that I needed. I arrived at the pool and headed towards the locker rooms feeling sickly, but once again calm and collected.

Coach Kae gave me a quick yet inspiring pep talk and I headed out to the pool confident. More important than the talk, he had given me some nasal spray and I was breathing normally again.

When I headed out to the poolside I looked in the stands for my best friends. My searching eyes only landed on Leilani, who held a cute sign with my name on it. My questioning eyes met hers and she only shrugged sadly. Calum hadn't shown up to support me the way I'dalways supported him. My brother hadn't shown up to shout my name. My boyfriend hadn't shown up to tell me to kick some ass. Michael, the most caring out of the boys, hadn't bothered to come.

I could feel the tears welling up and I immediately tried to hold them back. But the feeling of hurt in my chest never lifted throughout the meet. By the end I was also boiling mad. They were jerks who didn't care for anyone except themselves and it pissed me off.

The meet when by in a blur. I tried to concentrate but the anger building up inside of me was hard to contain. The betrayal was what killed me the most.

All of the kind things Ashton had done and said now seemed like a curse to me. The whistle went off for the butterfly race and as I slipped under the water I crashed into a new reality. The water that had always been my safety, my escape was now full of something else, someone else: Ashton.

Ever since he had kissed me, Ashton became a part of my escape into nothingness. Now he just seemed like the anchor that pulled me down, that was slowly dragging me under.

All my fears crept into my swimming too. The tattoo on my back represented all I was determined to protect myself from. But I couldn't stop the pain from being abandoned from those most important to me.

At that moment, the pain was overwhelming. And swimming was no longer an escape but a nightmare. It helped me realize all the broken pieces of glass that held my heart together.

Every time I dove underwater that day I seemed to break into tinier and tinier pieces. Until there was nothing left.

It wasn't just that the boys hadn't shown up. It was that they were the one part of my life I thought I could count on. And after Connor, after my dad, after my mom, they were the only things holding me together. I was counting on them for too much.

The meet finally ended and I didn't bother talking to Coach Kae, I had ruined my scores and I knew that any chance of college by swimming was gone for me. I hurried into the locker room and showered quickly, not wanting be under the wretched water any longer than I had to.

Finally I finished and I ran out of the building, anxious not to run into Leilani or Coach. I was indebted to the both of them; Leilani for showing up and supporting no matter the stupid boys, and Coach for not giving up on me. But I couldn't face them.

Tears running freely, I tore out of the parking lot, not bothering to check my phone for any of the boy's stupid excuses. I headed to The Park, needing the only safe place I knew I had left.

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My pretties,

This is really sad. I think Paige got a little too attached to the boys. What do you think they were off doing? Thanks for reading! Comment and vote! Reading comments is one of my favorite things in the world.

Love all of you!

Madinfanfiction