When I first met Sallyssa Cringe, I was dumpster diving in the back of our school. She approached me slowly, as if contemplating, and when she reached me, she just stared.
"What?" I asked through a mouthful of trashed donuts. She continued to stare at me. I groaned and continued my diving. Suddenly, I heard a small voice talking to me.
"Can I join you?" Sallyssa squeaked. I gave a hearty laugh that probably freaked her out.
"Of course!" I yelled, excited to finally have a buddy. She thanked me and clambered over the side of the dumpster.
"How do we do it?" she asked, still timid, I could tell.
"You just do!" I threw my hands in the air. We then began to dumpster dive. She was the absolute best partner I had ever had. I congratulated her on a job well done and she thanked me. We then proceeded to set a time and date for our next dumpster adventure.
It was only then that I took in her appearance.
She had long, black hair and very pale skin. She had a small nose and it was very big in relation to an ant. Her eyes were big and bright red. She was the most beautiful person I had ever met.
Granted, we were only in third grade, but even then she was beautiful.
Xooblecakums, I thought when I realized that puberty would change her looks. I was still certain that she would remain beautiful, however, and was anxious to get to know her better.
A few days later we had another dumpster date. Sallyssa showed up a bit less timid than usual.
"Hi," she greeted me. "I'm ready."
"Let's begin," I replied, licking my elbow. We jumped into the dumpster and started our dumpster dive. She was even better than before.
"Have you been practicing?" I asked her when we were finished.
"Of course," she smugly replied. "I practiced just for you." It was then that I knew she was my future wife.
"Hey, listen..." I started. "I know we're just in third grade, but...do you want to go out with me?" I half expected her to scream "NO!" and tell me how ugly I was, but she laughed and said, "I love you too." My stomach ate itself from excitement.
