50 Shades of Friends: A Threesome You Don't Want to Miss

The Moment

My tired eyes slowly blinked open. I lazily rolled over and reached for my phone. The screen flashed on, reading 6:47 am.

What the hell? It's friggin Saturday!

Loud moaning sounds emanated from the next room, the probable cause of my early awakening. I stumbled out of the bedroom while still attempting to rub the sleep from my eyes. Sitting at the computer desk was Grabby, one of my roommates. Her bloodshot orbs were glued to the screen as she creepily crunched on potato chips. Her long brown hair was in knots, spilling over a hunched back.

On the monitor were two naked men, one's head speeding straight for the other's asshole. Damn that bitch likes her guy on guy.

"Well you're up early," I said through a yawn, heading towards the coffee machine.

"I didn't sleep." She replied in a monotone voice. I shot her a puzzled look but I doubt she noticed.

"You didn't sleep at al-?!"

"K can you just shut the hell up. The rimming's about to start."

I mocked her to myself quietly as I thought about how disgusting it was of her to watch porn in the living room with the volume up high. Well, I would actually probably be fine with regular porn. Or maybe even lesbian porn. But two guys getting it on? Not my thing. It's not that I'm a lesbian or anything though cause I'm totally not.

A loud crash sounded from the door, causing me to jump. I craned my neck to see Squiggly, my other roommate, face down in the shoe pile. She quickly leapt up, brushing the mud and dog shit from her clothes.

"Hey guys. Up so soon?"

Grabby mumbled something inaudible as she slid her fingers down her shirt and began to slowly rub her nipple. Squiggly furrowed her eyebrows but ultimately ignored the response.

"What about you, Whoredyn?"

I shook my head, motioning a hand towards Grabby. "Somebody had their porno up to loud." She nodded in understanding.

"Well I've gotta get going soon. Daniel sent me back to retrieve some of the dildos I left."

I scoffed, "Why can't the dude use his own dick?"

Squiggly bit her lip hesitantly as she nervously kicked around Grabby's cum on the floor, "He...He says I'm not sexy enough for him to get hard...even with Viagra. "

I angrily slammed my fist onto the table,"Squiggly, you are singlehandedly the sexiest damn person I have seen in my life! If Daniel can't appreciate that, then dump the crack addict."

Squiggly continued to roll the cum with her shoe. "I told you...He's trying to quit."

I shook my head, resting my hand on her shoulder. "Listen-"

I was suddenly cut off by Squiggly's eyes widening so large that they began to bulge out of her head.

"Whoredyn...Your hand..."

I gulped and looked down, realizing that my hand was not resting on her shoulder but squeezing her boob. I gazed up at her apologetically, while also trying to hide the tremble of pleasure that rippled through my body. I slowly crept away, laughing nervously as her lip began to quiver and a tear rolled down her cheek.

Squiggly quickly gathered up Grabby's cum and hurried to her room, crying. Grabby chuckled, "What's that bitch's problem, know what I'm sayin'?"

I sighed and sat next to her, trying not to pay attention to the anal happening right in front of me. After a while, the two men from earlier laid together, holding hands. "Great, they're cuddling."

Grabby turned to me, noticing my sad appearance. "Something on your mind, champ?

"No, no... I'm...fine...", I dramatically looked into her inviting eyes, which glistened in the sunrise, just begging for my deepest feelings.

"C'mon Sweet bird. Share. At least before the sex starts again."

"Okay, fine. I know that touching Squiggly's boob was an accident and all, but subconsciously, maybe it wasn't. Because... I kind of liked it." I rose my head to catch Grabby's reaction, but she seemed to be trying to hold in her laughter.

"GRABBY!" I shouted in annoyance.

"Haha, sorry. Hold on a sec." In the search bar, she began to type lesbians doin it. She clicked on a video that displayed a girl tied to a bed as another one whipped her violently. I looked over at Grabby who was licking her lips. Wow. What a hypocrite. I had to admit though it was pretty hot.

Even Squiggly, who was "so distraught" after I honked her went back with the dildo after seeing us watch the tape. After she left, Grabby smirked at me and whispered, "She's into it," and then we shared a giggle.

By the time we got to a lesbian sex tape, Grabby and I were masturbating back to back. Film after film we watched, each one filthier than the last. In other words, it was a great day.

SQUIGGLY'S POV

Sniffling and wiping away tears, I sped down the highway. How could she squeeze my boob? Why would she? Why would she bring up all of these damn feelings I thought were behind me?

I pounded my fist on the steering wheel. Daniel. Daniel. I had to think about Daniel. But how can I have sex with him now that I have just masturbated? And what's worse... The women in the video... I pictured them as Whoredyn and Grabby...

Soon enough, I felt the familiar crackle of my tires on Daniel's gravel driveway. I put the car in park and shuffled up the yard to the front door.

He answered at the first knock, and to my surprise, the whites of Daniel's eyes were pink and he was scratching frantically at his arms and throat.

"G-Glad you're here bitch. N-Now m-make me a sandwich." Tears welled in my eyes. Daniel no... I just stood there for a minute, unable to move.

"AAAAAHHHH!!!" He suddenly screeched as he unleashed his staff and jammed it down my throat. I sobbed as his boner formed. But then I realized... I am not powerless. I don't even want his dick.

A flood of adrenaline rushed over me as I grabbed Daniel by the penis and chucked him across the yard. "NOOO!!!" He screamed as his cum spewed into the air and landed on his now motionless body.

I gathered up some of the sperm for safe keeping before hopping in my car and running him over 41 times. I was about to drive away before I realized that 41 was uneven so I hit him once more. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Well thank God that's over," I whispered to myself.