MALCHIK GAY (English short story)

MALCHIK GAY (the song)

Handsome, tender, soft

Why do you look right through me, thinking 'NO!'

I can't deny my feelings growing strong

I try to keep believing, dreaming on

And everytime I see you, I crave more

I want to pull you closer, closer, closer, closer

But you leave me feeling frozen!

Malchik gay, malchik gay

I can be all you need

Won't you please stay with me, malchik gay, malchik gay?

Apologies might've been's malchik gay, malchik gay

Can't erase what I feel, malchik gay, gay; malchik gay!

Choking back; emotion

I try to keep on hoping for a way;

A reason for us both to coming close

I longed for you to hold me

Like your boyfriend does

And though my dream is slowly fading

I want to be the object, object, object, object

Of your passion but it's hopeless!

Sang by the duo t.A.T.u, 2003

MALCHIK GAY (the story)

Life is funny to me. Even when I'm dealing with shit and even if the situation is about life and death, it can sometimes make me laugh. I'm not ashamed to be a chancer, because a dreamer does not afraid to believe the impossible things to happen.

You see, things never go my way and although most of the time I feel that life has never been kind to me, I try to live my life to the fullest despite all the limitations and the lack I have in me.

And just like everybody, I also have a dream to have a family, but it'll never happen if I can't find Mr. Right. Yes, that was the only thing that I didn't have and that was once my biggest issue. Sadly, all my love relationships in the past didn't turn out the way I wanted to be. I guess if you're a girl and if you're an overachiever, it's not always to your benefit when it comes to relationships, because men are quite intimidated by women who accomplished a lot. There had been so many times where I said to myself "oh I wish that somebody would've said to me, 'be great, but don't be too great because you're going to limit your options'."

I felt everything was too late and nothing mattered anymore but the job that I have as a lawyer since fifteen years ago. But I passed that phase and my motto is simple, if you can't have the real thing; fake it. And if you can't have what you want, make believe. Sounds sad, but I don't feel that way; well, I used to, but not anymore.

My name is Kiambang Abdul Ghuyub. I'm a 42 year-old virgin who had no luck in love. I had the most boring life ever until I met this beautiful young boy. This boy changed me into someone different and he was the reason that I feel younger than ever and not to mention stupid at the same time.

I'm going to tell you my story with this boy, who is 19 years younger than me. Call me cougar, pedophile, mental or whatever you like. I wouldn't mind and I seriously don't. Because I don't think that you will be able to understand me and I'm not trying to make you understand with what I've gone through with my malchik gay since almost four months ago.

*

It all started when there were two young men moved into the apartment. They lived next door. One was an Indian man named Vishnu and the other was Russian named Andrei Smirnov. They both were good looking, but it was Andrei who stole my heart right from the beginning; it was love at first sight for the first time in my life. And my life was never the same since then.