The Sky Under The Sea. {Sequel To Lead Me Out Of The Dark.}

Chapter 47:Her Monoloug.

A week later:

Austin's P.O.V:

I sat there by her bed side for hours. Her cold limp hand in mine. I can't believe she would do this to me, to her son. Our daughter didn't make it, they had to open her stomach and take her out. I got to see her, she wasn't fully developed yet. I cried hard that day. The doctors told me that they were surprised Zundra made it, I know it's because my mom, she made her fight to stay alive for me. I and a couple of the guys donated blood for Zundra, she's getting better, she's awake when visiting hours are over so I haven't gotten to talk to her yet. That day I found her, was the scariest moment of my life.

*Flashback to that day*

I heard something shatter. I was scared, I didn't know what she was doing. The door was blocked by something, it was heavy. I kept banging on the door but she didn't give in. I waited a few more minutes, but nothing happened. I knew something was wrong, that she was doing something to harm herself. I started kicking the door but it didn't help. So I put all my weight against the door and pushed. It slowly opened, but only a little. It was enough space for me to slide through.

I slid in and I stood there. She was laying on the ground. I could see a puddle of blood, I could see the huge, deep, bleeding cuts on her arms. I ran to her side and started shaking her. "Zundra, Zundra? Baby please." I was scared, I didn't know what to do. I searched in my pockets for my phone and I finally found it. I called 911 and they said that they would hurry. I held her in my arms until the ambulance got there then I was forced to let her go. I didn't want to, but I had to.

*End of flashback*

I thought I lost her for good. I've been at the hospital everyday, I refuse to leave her side unless visiting hours are over. I broke up with my girlfriend that night it happened. I couldn't move on, I would never move on. This is all my fault, I feel like a worthless waste of human. I shouldn't be here, but I have to be, I need to be, for Zundra and for Robert. I need to be strong for them.

Visiting hours were almost over. I just wanted to go straight home and sleep but I couldn't, I had to pick up Robert from Alicia's. Alex and Alicia offered to watch him the days I went to the hospital, which has been everyday. I feel bad though, they have their own daughter, but they insisted. They even offered to take him for the night but I said no.

Joel and Morgan have been taking things rough, they haven't really talked to me. They blame me for this all. I blame myself too. Alan keeps telling me that it isn't my fault but it is, I can admit that. The first couple of nights I cut myself but fans that would come up to me when I was out, would notice them. I had to stop for their sake and for Zundra's sake.

Zundra's P.O.V:

I remember when I woke up a few nights after the whole suicide attempt. I remember the doctors telling me that the guys donated blood for me and that Austin saved my life and I remember him telling me our daughter didn't make it. I cried so hard, i was torn, broken, I was a failure. I failed to commit suicide, I failed to keep our daughter alive. I couldn't face Austin so I was kinda glad that I woke up when visiting hours ended. I couldn't face anybody, I'm too ashamed.

I was just starting to wake up and I opened my eyes slowly. I slowly and carefully stretched my arms over my head when out of nowhere I hear somebody cough. I jump and immediately look to my side. There he was, sitting beside my bed, looking at me, tears in his eyes. I couldn't stand it. I started crying, sobbing, shaking, I was scared to what he was going to say.

"Baby, don't cry. I'm so happy you're awake. Please Zundra, don't try that ever again. I'm so sorry I did this to you, it's all my fault. I'm sorry. I love you." Austin reaches out and holds my hand in his. I calm down a bit at his warming touch. I stare into his eyes and I can see the fear and hurt. "I'm sorry Austin, for everything. I'm really sorry, I can't believe I did this." I look down at my stitched up arms and I shut my eyes and cringe at the thought of what I did. "Please just tell me that you love me. I want to take care of you, I need too." I can see the desperation in his eyes.