Drag Me Down

Drag Me Down (1/1)

Hi everyone! I'm not new to wattpad but it's been really long since I last posted something. This is a very short story of one chapter only. I hope to inspire some of you and give hope to those who need it. I would also like to clarify that this story is purely fiction and doesn't involve anyone from my life i.e, I haven't been through this ever. So, if there are any improvements I should do, please do tell me. 

In all happy spirits, 

Yours truly

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I hit play and watched myself in the recording. But what I saw wasn't what I remembered....Actually I don't know what I remember now. Sitting on the hospital bed, I was numb. Nothing got past me. People came and went, leaving me 'get well soon' messages and their 'best wishes'. But I don't feel like meeting anyone. I'm not ready for that yet. There is barely anyone out of them whom I can remember. It terrifies me to think that maybe I have lost all my memories and most importantly, my personality. They say that it's because of my mild amnesia and that it will all be good. But I don't believe any of it. How can I? I'm still in a state of shock. I hit play again on the video and with blank eyes continued to stare at it. I couldn't decipher anything. The girl in the video looked like me, identical, in fact but I couldn't recall anything.

That night I try my level best to think about something, anything, to get to know my past. Nothing came to me. That dreary night, I cried and cried but nothing helped me. I tried to sleep but couldn't. Suddenly, in the dark room, I truly felt lonely and something told me that it was the very first time I felt so desperately in need of help. So, I cried because there was nothing I could do. I cried because there was no one I could turn up to. I cried because I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my old life back nor will I ever be able to figure out how it really was.

The next day, my doctor told me about some psychologist that will come to visit me during the day to help me sort myself out. I really wasn't looking forward to it. What was I supposed to talk about when I myself didn't know who I was truly? During the session, I couldn't tolerate it anymore. So I ran. Like any coward, I bolted out the door. When I found a quiet corner, I sat down and cried till I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I found myself in the same room I had been staying for a while. The hospital white depressed me. I was dying to know the answers. My psychologist came again for a session and explained to me that my behavior was completely normal. I sat through it but wasn't paying attention. That night, I stood numbly by the window and looked up to sky. Millions of stars were trying to tell me something. Something, I was yet to fathom. I lay on my bed and clicked play on the video again. I looked at my replica and noticed how happy she was. I went to sleep thinking if this was how I used to be. But I refused to believe it.

Subsequently, the next morning I woke up but felt completely different. I felt like I was on a mission. I was tired of living like this. I couldn't continue like this. So, I again hit play on the video but this time paid a little more attention to every single detail I could gather. I played it again and listened to what my replica was saying. I continued to watch the video for a while before I realized that I didn't need a past to associate myself with. I didn't need answers to what has already happened because whatever I do, I cannot turn back time. I instantly felt a little better. Even my psychologist noticed it. I decided that from now on, instead of dwelling about what has already happened, I would create a better life for me ahead. Even though, I had no idea from where to start, I knew that I would figure it out. I watched the video one more time before clicking delete on my computer. I felt instantly happy. I felt like a new, unconquerable person who has nothing to lose. And in that moment I knew that nothing could, in fact, drag me down.

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I hope you readers liked it. It's my first time writing something like this. Do share your views and don't forget to smile because you are worth everything and more. :)