Almost Lovers

An Open Letter to my Almost Lover

The first time I saw you, I didn't think that you would mean so much to me. But surely you got my attention. As time goes by, I got to know you more, I laughed at your jokes and you laughed at mine. And I thought "Hey, what am I feeling?" I admit I admire you quite a bit. I tried to talk myself out of this nonsense. Thinking what possible good will I get out of this. I talked to my friend and she told me to stop before I hurt myself. I said "Okay, I'll try to control my feelings for him." But shit happens. I got drunk after receiving a horrible news. I was so embarrassed. You were my hero. You assisted me during my drunkest hour. You didn't took advantage of me, you held my hand and didn't let go. I guess that's the time I liked you even more. But damn why the hell did I act that way? I hated myself from that moment until now. But weird thing though is that, on the next day, you asked me to watch a movie with you. And me, who doesn't know anything... I said "Sure, why not?" And we did see the movie. I wasn't paying attention. Can you blame me? You were holding my hand. And I can't stop thinking "How do you do this?" I know I'm inexperienced... But everybody's gotta start at something. And from then on my heart races each time you text me. These butterflies in my stomach were dancing. I don't know, I can't sleep each night thinking maybe I'm just stressed out with work but then I read a quote from Dr. Seuss. He said "You can't sleep because finally, fantasy is better than your reality." Or something like that I'm not sure. I'm too lazy to search for the actual quote. I believed that. Maybe finally my reality is better. Maybe this time I won't end up getting hurt. But boy I was so wrong. These something between us ended. We stopped seeing each other, we even stopped texting each other. I don't know what happened. It was about two months or so. And then, you asked me to watch a movie again. So, of course, I wanna see you so badly, I agreed. We watched a romantic comedy movie. We were laughing, yes but, there's something in me wondering, "Will you hold my hand again?" But that didn't happened. It was painful. But I didn't think about it much. Well, actually I did. I was thinking about what else could have happened. My little daydream. After our movie, we didn't contact each other again. So, I was thinking maybe something went wrong. But after two months you texted me and you said you wanted to meet since you need to give back something of mine. So, again, because I wanted a reason to see you (all thanks to that flash drive of mine) I agreed to meet you at the mall after my work. I hate to admit this but I groomed myself on that day. I put on a dress, I even put on makeup. I waited for you for like fifteen minutes. After that, you handed me my flash drive and we walked towards the supermarket as you said "Sorry, I can't stay, I have something to do." Then I realized we won't be talking much. In your defense you asked how am I, so yeah thanks. But that's not what you just said. You told me you were leaving and you don't know when you'll be back. So I acted like it was okay. I said "Cool, when will you leave?" I can't hear anything to be honest. I didn't even catch what you said afterwards. Sorry about that. So, I just smiled. I said my goodbyes and crossed the road. I was imagining how that day would end. I thought we'll get dinner, talk some more or something. But none of that happened. That meeting, I took it as a sign that I should forget about you and stop assuming that there was and there will be an US. I tried to stop thinking about the good times, our good times and for a few months, I did. We didn't communicate, that was helpful. But then, I saw you posted something online. I got curious. You're with a girl. I checked out her page. I don't do this stalking thing. I swear. But I can't stop myself from clicking the link on her name. Man, she is beautiful.

[Hi guys! It has been a while since I posted something here in Wattpad. But I just wanna share with you this story. If you like it please vote or comment, I would really appreciate it. And also, it seems "BITIN", right? If you want a part two, please leave a comment. Thank you! Love lots. Dee. ❤️]