Fallout ~ Danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil

I Need A Little More Time

*Dan's P.O.V*

I could hear Phil's words repeating in my head as I tried to fall asleep.

'I wish things were the same and I hope you know that.'

For some reason I keep thinking everything could go back. It could all be normal once again. But then I relaise that's impossible.

Nothing can ever be the same again. I didn't want things to happen like this. No, its not my fault. I couldn't help it. All I've done is ruined Phil's life after he took me in. He saved me.

I wouldn't be alive at this very moment it time. I couldn't have done any of this without him. So why am I here? Without him.

Well temporarily I suppose. I'm back at square one with Phil caught in the mess too.

I couldn't even bring myself to tell him. After all he's done for me I can't even tell him one simple thing. I internally broke down. Everything had been going so wrong for me and I couldn't take it.

The next morning I ended up booking myself a trip to Berlin. I didn't need anyone else with me. Some alone time would probably do me some good anyway.

Phil even agreed on the philosophy that taking a break from each other could improve our friendship. I doubt it. And I'm sure he knows that too. But if I can make him feel the slightest bit less stressed then it will be worth it.

At the same time I had no intention from hiding my trip from the fans. I actually posted on my social media where I was heading off to and what I was doing.

Unfortuantly the trip was in a couple months and before that I had far too much stuff going on. During Connor's visit to the U.K we were going to film three videos then I had to post something else to stop my channel from going inactive before I could take my break.

At least I have something to look forward to in life now.

The time between then and my trip dragged on. Phil appeared in less of my videos during that time and the only video featuring both of us was the one Connor Franta was to post later that month.

That left two difficult moments for us to fight through. The first Monday of every months radio show and the irregular Dan and Phil games.

Despite the fans constant demand for us to film more videos with Dil the truth was we had began to resent him. Dil represented the two of us in Sim form. He was like our child. He was the connection between us which was why it hurt all the more to fire up the Sims 4 pull on anouther fake smile and show a fake intrest in the virtual world of Dil.

The radio staff who were now aware of our situation had found ways to dodge around our personal issues. From thinga like hiding tweets from fans to even being selective of which fanarts they actually feel they can use in the show.

They are also incredibly selective on what content they can include which will keep audience retention up, not upset me and be possible to do in our tiny studio booth.

It is sweet everyones trying to help but things seem to far gone. We have even gone as far as taking seperate taxis back to the appartment to advoid interacting.

The only good thing to come out the radio show from hell was having to tell our friends what our current situation is like. But in a way it feels like your also forcing all those caring friends into a mess no one know how to clean up and the pile just keeps getting bigger.

After what felt like forever it was finally time for me to flee the country for a while. We exchanged a brief glance as I headed down the stairs of our appartment. Once again Phil didn't say a word.