4:13 am

awakening

"I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning"
- Andy Warhol

My alarm went on full blast playing this loud ear aching tune. I was tired, I stayed up. The alarm managed for me to move my hand and fingers to turn off this old alarm. I looked at the crimson red numbers and saw that it was 8:00 am. I struggled to reach to the end of my desk where my phone was set. My small slender fingers reached to the top of my phone and slid it closer to me. I turned on my phone and I saw two notifications. I got two text messages from my friend, Col. She said in all caps.
"NINA!!!!! You seem to be very isolated in your house & I just thought of you.."
"Let's go to Brennen's party tonight @ 7! Jill and I will be attending. (-:"
I scratched my head and answered immediately.
"Might as well attend & have fun" I texted with the smiley emoji.    I got up to get ready for the day. I stretched my whole body and bolted to the bathroom. Something was a bit off though. I felt like I was doing something wrong, but I just ignored it. Suddenly I heard a loud voice from downstairs
"NINA! Breakfast is ready!!!" yelled my mom.
I had a puzzled look in my face and got my pink worn out bunny slippers and went downstairs. To my surprise, I saw my mom with my step dad. I haven't cracked a smile in years, but I managed to fake my way to grin.
  "I made pancakes for all of us!" said my mom. "They are blueberry banana Nutella pancakes just the way you like them."
   My mom knew I was feeling a bit weird for awhile, but she never confronted me about it. It's been a long time since I shared my deepest darkest secrets with her.
I dosed off and got a stack of pancakes.
"Hey bud! Do you want to grab some sandwiches tonight!" said my step dad, Joseph.
"No thanks, I have a party I want to attend with Col and Jill at Brennen's house." I said with a cheery yet serious voice.
"Not if we come!! We are hip parents and we can blend in with the teens. Just kidding!" said Joseph jokingly.
"Your curfew is at 10 pm Nina and you better be here at home then." said my mom.
I bounced off and went back upstairs. I looked at my clock. It was 8 am. My head started to tremble. I felt like I was about to throw up. I laid in my bed and when I looked at my blank white ceiling, I saw the ceiling spinning round and round. I wanted it to stop. I curled up with my head on my thighs. I looked up and it stopped. Immediately my nose started to bleed uncontrollably. I ran to my bathroom and grabbed a bunch of toilet paper and stopped the bleeding. A few minutes went by and it stopped. I cleaned off and went to lay on my bed.
I saw the time. It was 11 am. This isn't possible. Two hours could have not passed by when I only stopped my nose from bleeding. I was in some sort of state of mind where I didn't know if this was really happening.