"Babes look...I can't really speak too much on how you are when you're not with me, but I mean you don't strike me as the type to react that way for no reason. If something is bothering you, you really should speak up about it. I don't care how minute it is, something has to be a trigger." Dox said to me as we were laying on my couch. I just set my head down on his stomach and pondered that for a moment. "I mean even if you can't be real with everyone else, you owe it to you to be real with you." he said and it was like deja vu. "Now you sound like Iris." I said to him and he laughed a little bit. "I'll take it as a compliment considering she's wise beyond her years..." he said as he sat up and he looked in my eyes, almost like peering into my soul. "...so talk to me. Tell me what's up." he said and I contemplated for a moment on this very thing but I don't know. "Well...to be honest I probably resented Dom some upon meeting her because she has a bond with him that I didn't have. Like she knows a lot about him personally that I never got to know or understand. So...originally it was that. Then...I don't know it was just weird like I felt like we were in a tug of war when it came to him, so I did more to keep his focus. After beating her out for Valedictorian, I thought I would feel great about it. Only I didn't, I actually felt remorse because she worked so hard on it and after losing her baby, she was due for a win. But I couldn't see past myself. Like a part of me felt superior, then it made me feel small...if that makes sense." "Baby you don't have to dim anyone else's light for you to shine brighter. Your light shines no matter what anyone else's may be doing around you. Like for example, in the studio, I can be working so hard to get through a song and I haven't pearled it yet. If I went and listened to someone else's completed project and thought 'Man theirs is fire, what am I gonna do' then I would never get anywhere. Instead, I don't look at them like we're competing. We all gone shine in our own time. Like the moon and the sun. Toya, you don't have to do too much to be noticed, so don't force yourself into spaces. It sounds like you were in a lane and just because your lanes were similar, you felt threatened. So...to my understanding, D was almost immediately with Justin, so how would there be a competition when your focuses were different. You gotta look outside of yourself Babe." he said as he got up and went to the bathroom. His words kind of resonated with me for a while before I could really react to it. He was right. But truthfully, my whole life I've always felt like I was in a competition. Like I wasn't white enough for the rich kids, and was never hood enough for the black kids. I was searching for my place all along. "What you thinking about?" he asked me as he sat back down and looked into my eyes. "What you said. It made sense. But I guess mentally, I've always been in competition because I didn't fit in any crowds. So...I didn't know how to share my space, it's only been me." I said. "I can relate, only thing is I never wanted to fit in anywhere. I mean look at the label, I'm literally the Wale of the group." he said and we both laughed. "And I'm good with that, because it's my lane. Only person close to putting out what I do is Dom to be honest, but it's always been love between us. You can't stomp out darkness with darkness." he said. "I know." I said, hating to admit that he was absolutely correct in what he said. "But also...address then in your own time. Don't let anyone, myself included, tell you when is the appropriate time to address it. Because you might not be ready to unpack all of that and you don't have to. Always remember that, trust your own timing." How could you not love this man? He glanced over at his phone and then back at me. "If you have to go, that's fi..." I started to say and he cut me off. "Naw, she was just telling me how she was doing and told me to enjoy myself. I really don't have anything to do until my session tomorrow night. So...I'm all yours until you're tired of me." "So...what if I never get tired of you?" I asked him and he moved closer to me and kissed on my cheek, down my neck, and then back up to my lips.
"That's the plan." he said. "Is it?" I asked him and he smiled. "You doubted that? I don't get into any situations with people and expect them to be temporary. I play for keeps. You gone be mine no matter what." "That sounds a little toxic to me." I said and we both laughed at that. "I mean...I'm never gonna keep what doesn't want to be kept. As soon as you feel like you're unhappy, I want you to walk away for you. But as long as this is what you want, I'll be here." "You sure?" I asked him and he looked at me for a moment with confusion on his face. "I'm only saying because On..." he hushed me really quickly. "Toya...I told you. The relationship I have with you both are separate and sacred to me. I don't look at you like you're my side piece or anything. We're all equals and willing participants in this relationship. I mean technically we all have something extra going on." he said and I hushed him. "No Love...me and Tony are just co-parents. It's nothing like what you two have." "Is that a problem for you?" he asked me. I thought about it for a moment. "No...because even though I know she's there, you never make me feel like she is." "Exactly!"
YOU ARE READING
The Unusual Suspects Book 2
General FictionThe story of 6 inner city young adults, all from different walks of life, from different areas, and conquering different hardships. Watch how school, family, drugs, lies, the streets, and love bring them together and rip them apart
