If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away

Leaving Home

I woke up in the car that night. The Impala was pulled to a stop. Sam and Dean were sitting on the hood, looking up at the stars wordlessly. The windows were rolled down, probably so I wouldn't die.
Now was my chance. I just have to go through with it.
I took a piece of paper from my pocket and placed it on my seat before silently climbing out the window, trying to take my mind off the last time I'd done something like this. I landed silently on the grass. I grabbed my bag from the floorboard, cast a wistful glance at Sam and Dean, and then ran away.
Part of me wanted them to turn and see me.
But they didn't.

I might as well go to a damn concert.
I looked up where Guardian Angels would be next, but it wasn't even in America, so I looked up Pierce the Veil. It was only a few hours away, and the next day.
Just as I finished purchasing my ticket, I realized that would be the first place they'd look.
If they looked.
As it turned out, Tenth Avenue North would be half an hour away from where PTV would be, so I figured I'd go to that and pay cash when I got there.

The music for No Man is an Island started playing. My phone vibrated, but I ignored it. Soon after, it vibrated once with a voicemail. As Mike, the singer, came on stage, everyone got to their feet, thank God. At the last one I went to, nobody stood up, so I was just sitting here awkwardly. Like, excuse me assholes, but stand the fuck up when you're worshipping. I bet you even Satanists stand up to worship-I'm not entirely sure, but...
"How many of you have been to a Tenth Avenue North concert before?" He asked after the song. He was met with a bunch of screams. "Well, I like to do this at every one." He grinned. "When you see people rainy their hands," he said, lifting his hands, "You label them as extremely spiritual, right? But my little girls, when they want Daddy to pick them up, what do they do? They raise their hands. So you see, it's not the posture of the spiritual, but the posture of the needy. So for this next song, I'd like you to just lift your hands."
We obliged, thank God.
"There's a girl in the corner, with tear stains on her eyes, from the places she's wandered and the same she can't hide. She says "How did I get here? I'm not who I once was. And I'm crippled by the fear that I've fallen too far to love." But don't you know who you are, what has been done for you. But don't you know who you are?
"You are more than the choices that you've made, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create. You've been remade."
I closed my eyes against the tears that threatened to flow and looked skyward.
"Now here's an exercise." He said sometime later. "Now it's not hard; I hate exercise too. Just put your arm around the person next to you. Even if they smell bad."
This was where I drew the line.
An arm slid around me, and I opened my eyes and looked that way to see just who had the nerve to touch me.
"What are you doing here?" I hissed as Tenth Avenue North started singing Lean on Me.