If I Hold Your Hand Will It Stop the Bleeding?

Before the fall, when the fear of giants was only found in nightmares, Armin would lay his head to sleep. While everyone was at ease and a placid feeling had settled over the land, there was one small boy who had sense. At night he feared beasts coming to steal his loved ones away. It was somewhat of a routine that at this time one or both of his parents would come in. Armin's parents would just smile, hold his hand, and whisper soothing words to him as he fell asleep.

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Then the wall fell, and giant beasts came in and stole his parents from him. Though, Armin feared not, for he still had his grandfather and friends. An overwhelming grief kindled inside Armin, but the hopefulness inside his friends put the deadly fire out. At night, when Armin's body shook with tears, his grandfather would just smile, hold his hand, and whisper soothing words to him as he fell asleep. Eventually Armin's grandfather was sent away to battle, with a promise hanging above his head that he would not return. Armin loathed how he had no say in if his grandfather stayed or left. He loathed how he had already given so much, yet he still had to give more. Survivors came back, and as promised, Armin's grandfather was not with them. The monster's had stolen another of his loved ones, but this time Armin wasn't sure who the monster's were.

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Armin went into training to grow strong so he wouldn't have to see anymore loved ones stolen away. He trained, and trained, and even though he put in everything he physically could he wasn't half as good as his comrades. Though, his testing scores surpassed his comrades, and Armin may not be able to help humanity with his physical abilities, but he could help with his mental abilities. Yet even though Armin knew he would be helping he felt like he would hold his comrades back with his lack of physical ability. Armin held his tears back and during late nights after training, Armin would quietly sneak into Eren's bed. Eren would just smile, hold his hand, and whisper soothing words to him as he fell asleep.

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The battle of Trost came and Armin let his nerves get the best of him. The flames of grief threatened to overtake Armin's body. The one time he had to grab his friends hand, and he couldn't. Armin had doomed his friend to death, and a giant beast had stolen another of his loved ones away. Then the smoke cleared and there lay Eren, emerging from the back of a Titan. Armin couldn't understand how someone he loved so much, could be one of the monsters that had stolen his loved ones away. Armin felt his brain falter and search desperately for an explanation. Though Armin feared not, for now his friend was back. Now it was Armin's turn to smile, hold Eren's hand, and whisper soothing words to him.

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The world had given him the weight of his friends lives to carry, but it was too heavy and Armin dropped it. Someone was calling out words of panic, but the words didn't sink in. In the distance he could see his comrades running for their lives from the monsters that had stolen his loved ones away. Just a little longer. They had to wait just a bit longer. Armin reached his hand out, as if he could pull them in from so far away, as if he could prevent their death with a simple gesture. Someone called out a warning and the sound of metal chains lowering the gate reverberated against Armin's ear drums. No... his comrades were almost here!

Someone grabbed his collar and pulled him back just seconds before he would have been crushed by the gate. Armin had no willpower left to thank the stranger for saving his life. The screams grew louder and more panicked as they drew closer. Armin abhorred how he recognized the voices behind the screams of horror. Armin abhorred how they pounded on the door, begging for someone to let them in. Armin abhorred how he couldn't help them, how his body would lift a finger to end their torture. Armin abhorred the silence that eventually fell; a signal that they had won, but to Armin it was a signal that his friends corpses were motionless on the ground. In mere seconds the flames of grief overtook Armin's body, and left him an empty shell of his former self.

Wall Maria had been recovered, but at the cost of so many lives. Though people still celebrated. Everyone was filled with happiness for the first time since anyone could remember. Armin didn't blame them for being joyous, even if his joy was hindered. As if blinded by bliss, no one noticed when Armin went off to his room alone.

Now Armin did fear, for he was all alone. His brain was finally processing that he had no one left. The giant beasts had stolen away all his loved ones, and left him to carry the burden of their deaths. Now at night Armin had to be the one to smile, hold his own hand, and whisper soothing words to himself as he fell asleep. For now the only place he saw his friends was in his nightmares.