Cameron x Nash Short Stories - cash -

Dreaming of You Part One

For Im_just_jayla

It's not that I want to be a stereotypical nerd, that's just how I am. I wear cheap glasses because that's what my parents care to buy me, I wear suspenders and bow ties because I like the style. I am smart, I get good grades and I work hard so that I can leave this godforsaken place. I'm going to need scholarships because my dead beat parents definitely won't pay for college, they barely provide for my basic necessities. They just don't want to get reported for neglect by my teachers.

I'm sore this morning, bruises litter my body from the beating I took last night. My father did not hold back. He's very careful not to mark my face because he knows I won't tell anyone about my hidden bruises.

I get up and put my glasses on, they're old and I have to strain to see with them, my parents got them for me before they hated me, back when they actually gave a shit about me. But once I came out as gay, it's like I wasn't their son anymore.

It was painful and it still is. I have bouts of depression because I have no one to back me up. My sister is their little princess and honestly, she's always been but they did love me too. Not anymore. All of their attention goes to her, she has the best of everything while I have to make due with things bought at a thrift shop or yard sale.

I don't have any friends at school but I don't get bullied, people just leave me alone. I don't think I could tolerate it if I was bullied and also beat at home. Life would be unbearable.

I gather my homework and put it in my bookbag. My parents hate that I get good grades and Sierra doesn't. She's a senior and is barely passing, the only school that accepted her was the local community college. She wants to be a hairdresser anyway, I don't think she has the brains for anything else.

I get ready and leave for school before anyone else is up, I usually try to escape them in the morning because if I don't they give me a morning beating. I walk to school, it's a long walk but I have to do it. Even if I was at home and ready to go, I wouldn't be allowed in the car even though they're dropping Sierra at the same place.

When I arrive at school, I immediately make my way to the library and hide there until first period. The students here know I'm gay and they don't have a problem with it for the most part. I made the mistake of asking a guy, Chris, out and he laughed in my face and then proceeded to tell the entire school.

That's one of the bigger regrets of my life.

I hear someone entering the library and I poke my head out because usually it's just me and the librarian in here. I see Nash Grier, he's actually at the top of the class but I guess he's not considered a nerd like I am because he's charismatic and popular, he's athletic but he doesn't play any actual sports at school. He's not shy and he jokes around during class making everyone laugh. He's openly gay and no one cares about that, I find myself watching him sometimes because he has the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen.

I've had a crush on him but I'll never be brave enough to approach him, the experience with Chris scarred me for life.

I sometimes think it's better to be alone but then sometimes I ache to have someone show affection to me because I have none. He sits at one of the tables and takes his books out, I can't stop myself from watching him. He doesn't know I'm here so I enjoy the opportunity to watch him without any interruption.

He truly is a work of art.

I stare at him the entire time, my books forgotten next to me. I wish so much that we could be together and I daydream about him during the day and dream of him at night. He's so beautiful, he has an aura around him that draws people to him. His smile, his eyes, his physique. Everything is perfect. I've never seen him with anyone but I'm sure that he goes on dates, he's highly sought after.