Immortal Sins :Rise Against the Angels (On Hold)

Chapter 3 First Day pt2

 Chapter 3 pt2  - First Day

It wasn’t too hard to make my way towards the cafeteria where study hall was because all you had to do was follow the noise. You would think for a study hall there would be at least one teacher supervising the lot of rowdy teenagers but there wasn’t a single adult in sight. I looked around as some football players were sitting on the bench and the tables in their groups talking and there were a few single people sitting off on their own and I figured it was a good idea sitting on my own. I made my way towards an empty table near the entrance and sat there before pulling out my bag and began to go through the article.

I pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen and began to jot down points about how the article conflicts with other religions and general society.

Well for starters I didn’t believe in God anymore, so it automatically conflicted with my religion which was Atheism. A broad sense, the rejection of belief in the existence of deities. I guess I believe in a higher power because there has to be something more than living for 80 some odd years than just to die.

Scribbling my personal thoughts wasn’t likely what the teacher had wanted but it was all I could come up with. I hadn’t realized anyone was sitting next to me until I heard papers ruffle in a bag before I felt the motion of someone sitting across from me.

“You mind if I sit here? It’s just a bit too loud to concentrate over there.” Sam pointed to the crowds of teenagers that were talking on their phones and to each other ridiculously loud.

I glanced up for a second and felt myself blush before looking back to my paper nervously. “Uh yeah of course.”

I hated how stupid and fidgety I felt in his presence , it annoyed me to death. I sighed before dropping my pen accidentally before Sam was nice enough to pick it up and hand it back to me as I tried to not hesitate too long that I would come off a bit slow.

“Thanks.”

I tried so hard to focus on the article but I kept finding myself re-reading the same sentence over and over without even realizing it and nothing wanted to stick in my head. Stupid men and their distractions , I gave my head a shake and put my pen down to clear my mind.

“Can’t concentrate?” Sam asked looking up at me with a half smile, at least he was willing to talk a little.

“It’s just hard to write about something I don’t really believe in.” I added biting my lip thinking back to how fresh and recent everything was engraved in my mind, how can anyone honestly believe there’s any good in the world when horrible things like that happen and to good people.

At this point Sam had closed his text books and put his pen down as well before sitting up straight to talk.

“Well what is it that you don’t believe in exactly?” Sam tilted his head towards me with his blue eyes just fused into mine which sent butterflies in my stomach soaring.

“All the conflicting religions for one, but really I have a hard time believing in God.”

I admitted feeling a little relieved to have actually said that out loud for a change. I don’t think Sam wanted to push me but he looked like he was thinking of what to say and choosing it carefully.

“He failed you at some point and you lost your faith?”

Sam seemed to have a pretty good idea of where I was coming from ,but I guess it wasn’t that uncommon for people to lose faith in God.

“Pretty much,  there was a lot of things that shook my faith in God but only one that completely shredded it.”

To be honest I couldn’t believe I was telling someone I just met today all of this. I hadn’t spoken to anyone, not even that grief counsellor who’s number was given to me in case I wanted to talk.  I was a bit shaken up just at the thought that someone might know me, might really know what I feared and what haunted me the most. I wasn’t sure how to even go  about talking about this but something about Sam made me feel safe like I could trust him.