Young Love Lost

Chapter Five

As I was crying he slowly slinked to me and hugged me careful not to upset me too much. I missed his warm arms so much. I wanted to slap him with fury, cry in his arms forever, and kill him all at the same time. What was wrong with me? That made me cry harder and I held onto Riley tightly. It was so hard to even look at him. Crying in his arms was much more convenient.

He stroked my hair and whispered, “Hey, don’t cry. You don’t look pretty when you cry.”

I laughed in his arm and took my head off his arm to wipe my tears with my shirt. I was a total and utter mess; so much for brave like Calvin.

The thought of Calvin made me realize what I had to ask and I lifted my head slowly. I was prepared now. I had seen Riley finally and I could do it. It was hard to stare at him in the eye so I just kind of leaned to him with my hands on his chest and stared at his chest. His shirt looked tattered and dirty. I wanted to chastise him for not having a clean shirt but I knew he hadn’t gone home since the day that killed my boyfriend.

“Come on, let’s sit down,” I whispered.

I walked over to a seat that looked like it had been sit in way too many times for this small town. I sat down cautiously and put my face in my hand. He sat across from me sullen, and stoned- faced. He wouldn’t say a thing; I could see he would be silent. I knew him so well that I could tell even I couldn’t convince him of such a thing.

With my other hand I grabbed his hand and traced patterns on it like old times in the Fields. It was comforting, and I thought if I could coax him in long enough to be relaxed, he would be okay with telling me things.

“Do you remember the time you met my mother and you were a total gentleman? It was very cute,” I chuckled sadly looking down at his hand.

I dared to look in his eyes and saw he had a sparkle there. Maybe I was breaking him.

“Yeah, I remember. You had a pink dress on, and we were seven. Your mom thought I was your boyfriend,” he smiled widely.

I shook my head laughing. Yes, I remember my mom being so happy I had found someone to hang out with that was my boyfriend. Until the day Riley messed up everything, my mom had been convinced that we were perfect for each other, and that Calvin ‘had nothing on us’. What a lie.

“And do you remember the first time we both met Calvin? We were thirteen that year. It was seventh grade and Calvin had just moved here. You two were such good friends…I bet Calvin would forgive you.”

I was so scared that my voice was quivering. My hand stayed tightly wrapped around his, not wanting him to let go. I looked up again at him and saw he was looking torn. On one hand he looked about to punch something, on the other he looked like he was going to cry.

He landed his other hand on the table with an echoing slam. I jumped at the sound and heard him mumble, “Damn it Jelly.”

My hand was still tightly curled around his one hand and now my other hand was gripping the table for support. The room was spinning and I was so scared.

He sucked the tears back in and stared at me pissed off. Yeah, that was a very wrong move. It was going too fast maybe.

“Damn it Jillian!” he yelled now.

His hand ripped out of my hand and I could tell he was going to go on a rampage. I heard footsteps outside the door, ready to come in.

He got up and punched the wall as I sat like a scared mouse in a corner. Was he okay? What was I kidding? He had almost killed me. He had killed four people and injured five.

Suddenly I jumped up from my chair not scared anymore. This was my best friend-was. I shouldn’t be so timid.

“What are you talking about?” I cried.

He turned around with a look of anguish on his face and walked over to me slowly.  He grabbed my shoulders gently and whispered, “You have no idea do you?”

Confused, I nodded my head no slowly.

His blue eyes looked into mine and before my slow mind could process it, he was bent over and kissing me.

The worst part?

I didn’t stop him as the tears streamed across my face for everyone to see.