Random Land

"Welcome to Random Land" I heard as I woke up. "What is this place?" I asked. "Why this is random land your majesty."

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I woke up on my sheep fluff. "Good morning Alex," I yelled to my flying pig. As he waddled over to my side and rolled over right on top of me. He started cutting off my circulation when one of my wooden knights came into the room.

"Good morning your majesty," he grumbled "How was your royal rest?"

"fine" I replied. "Any abnormal buisiness to attend to?"

"no apart from that fat guy who wants to eat alex"

"OINK"

"f\Fine where is he?" I questioned. "That's just, it we don't know your majesty." he replied. Just then the fat man burst into the room yelling "BACON" at that instant i pulled some bacon out of my pockets and threw it out the window as the fat man jumped after it. He seemed satisfied with the bacon until he hit the ground and exploded into a million tiny chiuahuas.(or however you spell that) and they all yelped away eating all the gingerbread citizens in their way.

"so much for public awarness" I said as the wood knight watched in pure terror. (I'm guessing because of the last dog outbreak where they thought he was a giant stick) "OINK" "your right alex we need to go" I replied as i hoped on alex. As we flew out the window a George (my pet whale) jumped out from his pool grew wings and started following us.  

"mroooooo" George said "man i wish i could speak whale," i said to myslef. I tried "wwwhyyyyyy arrrreeeee youuuuuuu hereeeeeee?" nothing happened. After that george just dove down and started eating the dogs. 

As we reached our destination (the royal court) Alex slowley lowered us to the ground. I hoped off and knocked on the door. At the same time the door swallowed me and spit me out the other side. "Hello my people." I said with a gracefull bow. I looked up and saw the room was empty. I was wondering if they were late or if they just were gone for the weekend.