One Constant Holiday

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

   My eyes flicked open and they immediately glanced at the red digital alarm clock on the side that read four am, which made me groan at the lack of sleep I've gained over the past month and half. I went to bed at ten last night but didn't actually get to sleep until at least half one which meant two and half hours sleep, which was at least more than I got last night, which was none.

   It was horrible. Every time I closed my eyes, the only thing I saw was her face when she took her last breath and said she loved me. That's all I saw and it haunted me. I should have been the one to die, the man who shot her, who they still haven't found, should have gone for me, not Sammi. He was a fucking coward! Who mugs a woman, the pathetic low life!

   I sat up, my hand going through my ever growing hair to get it out of my eyes and put on a t-shirt, the last thing I want is to deal with Jess when she complains about me having a shirt off. Not that she'll be awake anytime soon. It's the weekend which meant she'd be asleep til gone twelve. 

   The room was still pitch black, all I could see was what was directly in front of me, which was a good thing, as my room looked like a fifteen year olds with wrappers all over the place which I'll probably pick up later, if I can remember or be bothered. 

   As I stood out of my door, closing it quietly, I walked smack bang into my mother. "What are you doing awake?" She demanded immediately and I frowned at her confused.

      "I can't sleep." I admitted from under her gaze. "Why are you awake still?"

      "I'm a care worker who is working in two hours as Carol rang in asking me to work the six til six shift." She informed me. "Kyle, you need to get some sleep."

      "Well I can't mum. You know, they say that sleep is peaceful, well, it's not for me." I told her before stepping around and going down the stairs to get a cup of coffee before going on a run to avoid her. I know she only cares about me, but unless she has some pills, it's useless and the run and coffee will help me stay awake for the rest of the day hopefully. I mean, it's not like I do anything. Except for the runs in the morning, I don't do anything at all, I just sit and talk to my mum and dad when they're not working. Otherwise, it's just me. I don't answer the door or phone when I'm alone.

   I got changed into some grey joggers and a loose t-shirt before grabbing my trainers and IPod. "I'll see you tonight mum, I'm going for a run." I called out to her.

      "Okay, be careful!" She replied before I made my way out of the door.

      It was quarter past five when I actually made my way out the door and the sunrise was just starting to seep through the clouds, the air was still fresh and cold and the streets were mainly empty, which was good as it meant there were less chance of me bumping into somebody and then having to talk to them. 

   After a good hour and half run, I made it back home, sweaty but awake. After jumping in the shower, I made myself a sandwich and grabbed a can of Foster's from the fridge before settling in the living room for a while. I put Scrapheap Challenge on as background noise and just enjoyed the peace, which I welcomed a lot recently, any talking to anyone other than my family was hard, thus the reason as to why I never answer my phone, Facebook or the door when I'm in alone. I knew my life was too perfect with Sammi and now that my life has been blown to shit, I don't know what to do with my life, not that I want to do much anyway. The guy I used to be has gone completely, now I was just some whiney twenty-one year old who hated to talk to people. 

   At ten o'clock, my eyes opened due to the loud noise coming from the front door, "Kyle! You best answer this door now!" Someone yelled from behind the door, but I was still amazed at the fact that I had managed to fall asleep for a few hours. The banging stopped after a few minutes and I sighed in happiness. She was gone. Or so I thought.

   "Don't you answer the door?" Jess shouted from around the door before going to the front door and answering it. "Oh Kelsey, come in," she told her and I had to groan even more. I could not be dealing with Kelsey right now. As much as I used to love her, she wasn't Sammi and never will be and right now, the last thing I wanted was an ex-girlfriend telling me how to live my life, which she will do as Calvin has told her to keep an eye on me, not that I've seen her since the funeral, so she's been doing a great job.

   Jess came in wearing her pj's still and Kelsey in a huge jumper, skinny jeans and converse on. "I've been knocking on your door for the past two weeks! What the hell have you been doing?" She demanded as she sat on the sofa where my feet were. Jess sat on the chair opposite.

   I shrugged my shoulders and Jess glared at me. "Right, you two can sort out what you need to, I'm going to bed for a few more hours." She told us before going back upstairs and leaving with her and awkward and uncomfortable silence.

   "Don't you shrug your shoulders at me Kyle! God, do you know how worried I've been? I've had to be updated by Jess on how you've been!" She scolded and I rolled my eyes before taking a sip of my can which she took straight out of my hands. "And it's ten in the morning, you shouldn't be drinking!" 

   "Right Kelsey, my fiance died just over a month ago, I can do whatever the hell I like!" I snapped back before taking the can and downing the rest before she took it off me again. 

      "You just said it yourself, she died over a month ago, you need to start moving on." She replied. "Your hair is the longest I've ever seen it, you have a freakin' beard and you're drinking in the mornings, something you've never done before!" She cried. 

   "Kelsey, I don't give a shit. Why don't you go back to that Ryan guy and leave me alone. I'm sure you have better things to do then check up on me." I told her. 

      "Ryan? You mean the guy I told you about in the nightclub months ago? I dumped him as soon as I got back to Leeds, why did you bring him up?" 

      "You did?" I asked before shaking my head. "Fuck it, will you just piss off?" A flash of hurt crossed her face and I felt like a complete twat. I had never spoken to her like that before, but I just wanted to be left alone, couldn't she see that? "I'm sorry-" I started but she had already got up from the sofa.

   "You've changed Kyle. I didn't know Sammi very well, but I do know that she wouldn't like to see you like this and that she would like you to start thinking about life without her, yeah I'm not saying you should hit the town and start having various one night stands or anything, but the least you could do, if not for you but you're mum is get a job. I mean, you can't live off her forever and let's face it, before all this happened, your worst nightmare was to be living at your mum's when you were twenty-one. Now, I'm sorry for interrupting your life right now, but I still care a lot about you Kyle, whether you feel the same of not and I don't want to see you go on a road that leads to you feeling like you have nobody." She spoke. "Bye."

   She wandered out of the door before she gave me a chance to reply and I flopped down onto the settee, knowing everything she said was right. I scolded Claudia for living at home when she was twenty-four and if I don't do something about it now then I would be on the same course, a forty year old man who still lives at home and it was and still is my worst nightmare. 

   I grabbed my phone from off the coffee table and rang my dad, "hi, have you got a job going?" I asked him. He was a builder and I used to do odd jobs for him when I was a teenager and as I grew older, he taught me everything I needed to know.

   "What's brought this on?" He replied.

      "Someone called Kelsey." I told him and I could tell he was grinning down the phone. Whenever I used to be in a bad mood, they used to fetch Kelsey to bring me out of it as she was the only one as apart from Calvin she was the only one who could make me smile in the darkest of times, only now it seemed like I was too far gone for her to bring me out fully.

   "I thought it would have been and yeah, only on the odd weekday though sorry." He informed me.

      "That's fine, thanks, I'll speak to you later." I told him before hanging up. At least I now had a job which is something. I could probably try and get some bar work as well, I mean, I live in a city so it shouldn't be too hard.

Hey! (:

So, he's starting to come to terms with the fact that Sammi has truly gone!

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Thanks for reading!

Jemma .x.