Young Love Lost

Chapter Eight

** I put this chapter up because there won't be a new chapter for a while, so enjoy it (:

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“I am so disappointed; I thought you’d actually take to me god damn Pinkberry!” I yelled at Lucas.

He only chuckled while resting his left arm on the driver’s window. He was heading toward the local beach, named Ferrell, and I was dreading every moment. There were too many memories there, most of them involving my best friends.

“Relax, we’re not heading to the beach, if that’s where you think we’re going,” he smiled at me.

The boy was a mind reader to say the least. I tried to look off in the distance all nonchalant, but my mind was reeling. Where in the heck were we going? I knew Pillar like the back of my hand. There was nothing past the beach, and before the beach it was just a bunch of woods.

“So, Jill, you okay?”

I knew the question would come out sooner or later. He wouldn’t just avoid the whole situation of me collapsing and going to the hospital. I tried to think of possible answers to avoid everything, but I was too exhausted. I just ignored the question like I didn’t hear it, and instead stared out the window.

“Ever wonder if there’s something really up there?” I ask, changing the subject.

He doesn’t look at me, but I know he’s surprised I changed the subject. In the corner of my eye I finally see him turn his head toward me, lifting the corners of his sculpted mouth. I gulp, and think of Cal’s smile.

“I think anything’s possible, that’s for sure.”

I blink and turn my head towards him now. Well, that was vague.

“Yeah, but…what if we just disappear, Lucas? What if we stop thinking, and feeling, and loving? When we die…does it just all go away?”

This time he really looks at me, boring his big blue eyes right into mine. The whole feeling in the car is totally silent, and my heart is racing much too fast.

“I don’t know, Jill. But I do know that we never leave this earth, that I’m positive.”

I scrunch my eyebrows together in total confusion. “You can’t know that, sorry bud.”

He chuckles a little and remarks, “Do you still remember Calvin’s laugh, and smile? Do you remember how he spoke, and the way he looked at you?”

My heart is snatched away and I feel the breath being punched out of me because Lucas is letting me remember too much. With Calvin I just remember his smile, and his way of talking. Whenever I remember him, I’m careful to not let too much of him take over me or else I’ll drown.

So here I am drowning in the remembrance of Cal, wishing Lucas hadn’t said that. Because now I see his eyes that sparkle like Lucas’ and Riley’s and everyone that I love. I see him holding my hand, and then I see him dead in my eyes. Every inch of me explodes in a second, and I close my eyes. My whole throat closes up as I choke on nothing. I don’t say anything but Lucas knows.

“You remember then? That’s how I know we never leave. Calvin’s going to be here for a long time. People remember him, so he’ll stay until he’s forgotten.”

My hand flies to my chest, as I try to control the unsettling image of his eyes, and his walk. And then there was that ruffled hair he had in the morning. I open my eyes and I see we’re stopped. The car is parked. Lucas doesn’t say anything, but his look shows worry.

“Sorry,” I whisper.

He reaches for the hand on my chest and grips it, holding onto it for an abnormal amount of time. I try not to freak out at his rough tattered hands that are so gently held onto mine. He lets go in seconds, and I relax.