The Light That Guides You Home

Chapter 4

Laura manged to get little more writing done that night, but had trouble focusing on her project. She couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Ben. He was right, she realized. She always said she'd go back to the house someday, but she'd been telling herself that for almost 16 years. She didn't want to be a landlord forever, so she needed to make a decision. Was it going to be now, or never. She'd stopped going to Dr. Evans four months ago, because they had stopped making any sort of progress, and she felt like the sessions were a waste of both time and money. Maybe she should schedule one more appointment with him before making up her mind about this. If he really thought she could retrieve all of her lost memories by revisiting that house, she'd work up the nerve to go. What was there to be afraid of, anyway? They'd already worked her through her survivor's guilt. She was a grown woman now, not a scared little girl. It was even possible that she knew something about the killings, and that was why she'd blocked it all out. Dr. Evans thought the crime might have been committed by a neighbor, or a family friend. Someone that she knew and trusted, and her mind refused to accept that this person was capable of such an evil act. If there was a chance that she actually knew the identity of their killer, then she owed it to her parents, and to Lisa, to try to remember. She'd call Dr. Evans' office first thing tomorrow and schedule an appointment for later in the week, and she'd tell Ben not to look for new renters. It was about time she faced her past.

Having made the decision, Laura felt almost as though a weight she didn't realize she had been carrying had been lifted from her shoulders. She took a quick shower and got ready for bed, then reached for the bottle of sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet. She looked at the bottle for a minute, then set it down next to the sink. She was feeling good right now, and wouldn't be needing these tonight.

She got into bed, turned off the lamp, and fell almost instantly asleep. Within minutes she was dreaming. She was back at the house in Colorado, standing in her living room. She could see everything in more detail than she had been able to remember in years. There were the thick gold colored curtains on the front bay window, the white brick around the fireplace that was never lit. She could see the way the seat on the far right end of the couch tilted down towards the arm. She'd forgotten about that. She and Lisa would chase each other and run into the living room, jumping on the couch until one day something underneath the seat had snapped. She was so focused on the room around her, she didn't notice that she was no longer alone. She turned towards the kitchen to see her parents standing there, watching her. They were frowning, something she rarely saw them do. As she stepped forward to go to them, they both turned and walked away from her, into the kitchen. She followed, but when she reached the kitchen there was no one there. She took a few steps into the room to see where they had gone when she noticed the chill in the air. Suddenly her breath was visible in front of her and the tile floor felt so cold on her bare feet. Small bare feet, since she was just the size of a young girl. The size of a twelve year old girl, and wearing a pale blue butterfly print nightgown. She stopped walking and held her breath, listening for signs of anyone else in the house. She heard breathing, not hers because she was holding her breath, but still there was breathing, and it was close behind her. So close, whoever was breathing behind her could probably reach out and touch her. She tried to scream but her mouth felt as though it were sewn shut, and only a muffled groan escaped. She tried to run, but her feet felt glued to the floor, and she was not able to lift them. She heard one faint footstep behind her, and the breathing grew ever so slightly louder. Terror made her heart pound so hard she was sure it would explode. One more faint footstep, and she could feel the presence behind her, right behind her! She had to move, had to get away before it was too late. She strained to free her frozen body and managed to move one foot forward, then the other, and then she ran for the back door and out into the yard, too terrified to look behind her. The ground was covered in dry leaves that crunched underfoot and slid around, threatening to trip her. She ran for the shed, ducked around it, stopped with her back against the far wall, out of sight of the house, and waited. She didn't hear footsteps. Maybe whoever or whatever had been behind her had not been able to leave the house. She slowly slid along the shed wall to the end and peeked out. It was dark outside, but the moon was nearly full and lit the yard well enough to see. No one was there. Feeling relieved, she took a step back behind the shed and backed right into something cold and solid. She whirled around and found herself face to face with her dead sister once more. This time, she managed to scream.

Laura sat bolt upright in bed, sweating despite the cool room. With shaking hands, she turned on the light and got out of bed. She felt sick and rushed into the bathroom, making sure to turn on the light. She poured herself a glass of water and managed to take a few sips to calm herself. This was new, this dream, and completely unwelcome. She wanted to know what had happened to her family, but she didn't want to see them like this. Why now, after all these years, was Lisa haunting her dreams? Seeing her dead family was turning out to be more frightening than anything she'd dreamt about before. She decided not to wait until morning, and went back into the bedroom to check the time. It was 12:30, but she couldn't wait, and used the phone on the bedside table called Dr. Evans' office. She was taken by surprise when a real voice answered, rather than a recording.

"Thank you for calling Dr. Evans' office, this is Deanne. How may I help you?"

"Oh!", said Laura, "I'm sorry, I was expecting a machine. I just wanted to leave a message for Dr. Evans to call me tomorrow if possible."

"This is his answering service, and I can give him that message for you.", the woman replied. "Are you currently a patient of Dr. Evans?"

"Well, I haven't seen him in several months, but yes, I'm a patient. My name is Laura Davis, and I need to talk to him about a dream I've been having. He'll understand that. Could you ask him to call me on my cell? He has the number."

"Of course. I'll make sure he gets the message when he gets to the office tomorrow morning."

"Thank you.", said Laura, and hung up the phone.

She then went back to the bathroom and used the glass of water she had poured to swallow two sleeping pills. Leaving the bathroom light on, she got back into bed and switched off the bedside lamp. Even after taking the pills, it was some time before she could bring herself to close her eyes again. When sleep did finally overtake her, it was blissfully dreamless.