Mistakes -Jerza-

Mistakes

Jellal couldn't make things right, not after all the wrong he had done. The new guild he had created with Ultear and Meredy could do nothing. The Crime Sorcière was useless, the three of them couldn't undo all the wrong they had done.

It was hopeless.

And so, the blue haired man had to wonder, wonder what he had done to deserve waking up each morning next to the beautiful woman with the striking scarlet hair. Erza had forgiven him for all his misdeeds, all the pain he had caused to others, to her. And so it was with hesitance, a shaking hand that still hadn't disappeared after all their time together, that he carded a hand through the soft long hair, slightly tangled from sleep, and pulled the slim body close with his other hand and arm. It was how Jellal made sure the thing he was seeing was in fact, real, and Erza was there and she loved him as much as he loved her.

He knew Erza was probably much too good for him, after all he had done, he had killed Simon, although that seemed like a life time ago- it still happened, and Jellal can still remember the pain and despair on Erzas face as Simon sacrificed himself for her.

No matter what alias Jellal went under, wether is Siegrain, Mystogan or just himself, he always seemed to bring the woman he loved pain, even though Siegran was just a lie, a hologram conjured up by his magic, the fake man still hurt her in ways.

A soft yawn brought him out of his thoughts, along with a shift and creak of the bed. Erza looked up at him with a soft, tired smile. It almost made Jellal forget how powerful she was, Titania, Erza Scarlet, an S Class wizard from such a powerful and strong guild.

Jellal knew he was strong, he must be, to have done the things he did. He had many types of magic, he had used Mystogans magic on many occasions and deceived people into thinking it was really his Edolas counterpart. Siegrain was only a hologram but still he was a Wizard Saint, all of that from Jellals own power.

Jellal was in fact strong, but Erza was something else. Her magic was strong but she also had the will to fight for herself, and all the things and people she loved. Jellal truly envied her.

And as he looked down at Erzas pale face, illuminated by the morning sun flowing through the windows, he smiled to himself and brought their lips together for a short and sweet kiss, something he did every morning, just incase this was a dream, a fantasy he had conjured up in his own madness or misery, although both of those words were foreign to him now, things that he would never need to think about as long as he was with her.

Because he would always be with her, his Scarlet.

---

His eyes snapped open, his breathing heavy and laboured from his dream- no, nightmare. It was always a nightmare, whenever the scarlet haired Mage was there, in his head. Always in his head.

Jellal sat up shakily and ran a hand through his sweat coated hair, eyes darting around the dark room for something, anything that could keep his mind off the empty space next to him, the space he wanted Erza to take up. But things just weren't that simple.

He was too late, he had caused so much bad, no matter how much good he did, it just wasn't enough. It would never be enough for himself, for them, for Erza. He didn't necessarily need her, he just longed for her, to hold her like he had once before the Grand Magic Game, their lips so close.. He missed his chance to tell her how he felt, he had ruined it with his pathetic tale of his fiancée, he was a fool for telling her that. Fear took over his mind, senses and body, the fear of messing up and hurting her again.

Jellal couldn't make things right, not anymore. He was destined to have his heart aching, breaking, as Erza moved further and further away from him and with no doubt, soon forgetting about him.

That hurt more than anything else ever would, knowing that the girl he had known since childhood, the girl that had turned into a woman, would forget about him.

It hurt, but Jellal knew he deserved it. He had hurt too many for his strive to power, something that wasn't his fault, he paid for. But he could cope. He would cope.

Without her, Jellal could cope, until the world came crashing down around him in realisation.

He couldn't.