Don't leave...We need you (5SOS Ashton Irwin) *COMPLETED, EDITING*

15:The Willpower.

15:The Willpower.

"So how exactly did you...stop" I ask Louis taking another sip of my hot chocolate.

We are currently in starbucks talking about...things.

"I told you that I found the will power and made sure I did what was best for everyone around me which in the long run turned out to be the best thing for me as well, I look at my life and think about how lucky I was and am to have had my sisters. Thats what it comes down too. Without them I would never have auditioned for the X Factor, I would never be in this band and quite frankly I believe that right now I would be dead"

I stop to think about what Louis just said, I gaze out of the window.

"What are you thinking?" Louis asks me calmly.

"Nothing" I mumble starring back at my hot chocolate.

"I thought you said I can help?"

"I didn't say that, you just wanted too" I answer defensive.

"Alright but please do your best to help me help you?" Louis says trying to keep the eye contact.

"Ok" I whisper.

"Right so just then what were you thinking?"

"Uhh...well I understand how what happened to you made you stop but....I don't think it can make me stop" I answer gazing out the window again somehow feeling ashamed.

Louis' story had effected me but it hadn't stopped me wanting to cut and it hadn't left me not feeling suicidal. Louis sighs.

"I get that but what you need to understand is that if I could get through everything then so can you. Also you need to realise that no-one can help you as much as you can help yourself"

I look down at the floor turning red with embarassment.

"Don't feel ashamed. My story isn't yours so of course it won't help you...stop"

I look up "I want to stop I really do" I whisper.

"I know" Louis whispers back and reaches across the table for my hand, he squeezes it in comfort.

"What I suggest is that you maybe...tell the others." The last bit rushes out of Louis' mouth in a flurrie.

I snatch my hand away. "I thought you wanted to help!" I hiss.

"I do, believe me I do!" Louis trys to keep me from leaving.

"By telling people they will understand and will try to help you too" I try and calm down and think about what Louis says.

"Louis you don't understand. This past year has been the worst one of my life, all because I told people. Also if I tell Luke he won't understand like Ash- you do-" I correct my mistake hoping Louis doesn't spot it "- I will do anything to get myself out of this hell, but honestly, I don't know if its worth it!"

"No....Becca you can't give up. If you do then the last year that has been like hell...none of it would have been worth it. What you don't get is that this last year in hell you have been fighting a battle. You are still alive so you are still fighting. As soon as you stop, as soon as you give up, you have lost. I know what you tell yourself everyday cause I used to say it to myself everyday as well: 'They will be better off without me' but I can tell you thats not true. When my sisters found out that I was in hospital they came rushing in and cried and cried. When I was awake I tried to comfort them when I was asleep I could still hear their whispers. The ones telling me they loved me, the ones saying that I had to survive for them, the ones telling me that they couldn't survive without me and the ones telling me to keep fighting. Even is it was only a few people I was staying for it was worth it, but I realise now that no-one wanted me to die so I stayed for a lot more people than just my sisters" Louis chokes out the last bit.