It took all that I could to pull myself together before going to that gym. She would never be there anymore in actual presence. Only in my memmories and my heart. "Hey Alexa," I'd know that voice anywhere it was Lucas (also known as my best guy friend), "What's wrong?" but I couldn't choke out the words to talk to him, I couldn't let him see me crying. "I'm alright." I replied even though inside I was hurting to the point of depression. He gave me a worried look and we sat down in the top row. He didn't know what was coming next but I did and he would know soon enough what was wrong, and why I had been crying. I had never been an opened emotion person. I fake a smile and all of that so that people don't ask me questions. I just cope with things myself unraveling them in my head. All of a sudden my world had changed and I heard a crackle over the microphone. "Good morning students and faculty." Rose a voice as sharp as a jagged rock, it was Mr. Lafante, also called the warden, "I have called you all here today because of a tragedy that has happened last night." Whispers broke out in a jumble of students and I felt my stomach turn over. "Last night, your fellow peer, Dani, commited suicide. We will have grief counslers avalible for any students that need them." A few people started crying who barely knew her at all. The popular boys just sat there in shock probably remembering all the times they said things to her and she gave a sassy comeback. Lucas went from crying, to in shock, and tried running out of the room, but I pulled him back down and we sat there hugging, thinking of how Dani would never be here again. He didn't have to say anything. I knew how much this hurt him inside. He would need to talk to the counslers but I would do what I always did and work it out in my head. Only this time I wouldn't move on because I knew I would be nowhere without her, and that I might as well kill myself too but I couldn't do that to Lucas.
After the assembly I had art class. More people had started crying by then. People who never knew her as well as the people who hated her. If she was here she would have told me to throw a brick at their face. I would have laughed until my ribs hurt. Today we had to paint on a canvas but I found every brush stroke painful and unapealing. I was going to have to paint a picture today, but what I couldn't picture was the rest of my life. I mixed some grays and navy blue with a deeper charcoal color and began my canvas of mass destruction. When the bell finally rang two hours later, because that's how long art was, I had what appeared to be a deathly version of Alice in Wonderland. But things aren't always as they appear, are they? I grabbed my bag and walked out the doors as unsure of myself, and who I was as ever.
