Obsessed

If I Ran Away.

Song for this chapter: Gasoline by Troye Sivan.

Trigger warning- please do not read if you are easily triggered.
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If I Ran Away...

I feel like if I ran away nobody would really notice. Notice that I've gone. Never to come back.
That's what I do in my mind. Run away to some far off land. It's more peaceful that way.

Just me, my music and my imagination.

Some days I feel like people won't care if I ran way.
I mean who would care about a mistake right?
That's all I am.
A mistake.
An accident that wasn't meant to happen.
My friends certainly wouldn't care if I ran away. They would probably be happy that I'm gone.
Most of them just use me anyway, so they look like they have friends. Especially in lesson which they don't have with their actual friends. I used to get annoyed at the fact that they only talked to me in certain lessons when they were alone then they would go talk about me to their friends, but after a while I got used to it.

I mean the only thing they can do is talk.
They can't actually physically hurt me, unless they want to get suspended.
The only way they can hurt me is if I let their words get to me.
I've managed to get good at hiding my emotions and not getting attached. If you don't get attached then it doesn't hurt as much when they leave, and let's be honest here, they always do.
However lately, I've been getting more comfortable around certain people, opening up more. I know this is bad, I'm scared that when they get the chance they will spread my secrets.
If that happens? Well I might as well move to another country, it will be easier than enduring the constant insults from my fellow class mates.
I would rather die than have them find out some of the things these people know about me.
I wouldn't be embarrassing as such but the thought of people finding out terrifies me.

The thought of death has never bothered me before. A lot of people believe in some kind of after life. Whether it's heaven or hell. I've never believed in life after death. I just believe that after you die that's it.

That everything is just black.

A/N

I have no life.
And I'm not ashamed about it either.

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Love, newts_fangirlxx

Edited- 20/06/16