Never Would I Ever - Toby Turner Fanfiction

Suspense

TOBY’S POV

I honestly don’t know what I was expecting when she woke up. I was hoping for the best, that she’d be perfectly healthy in the head and there would be no damage to her brain what so ever. But then I saw her face go blank when asked her name, and my stomach dropped. I thought she was fine.

I left her room for the first time around half an hour ago and now I’m sitting on a bench outside the hospital, thinking through everything and wishing she would just remember me. I haven’t talked to the doctors yet so I don’t know if the memory loss is going to be permanent or not; it may only last a few days for all I knew. But I can’t stand to go back in there, to hear the news. I left the room with stinging eyes and a lump in my throat. I don’t know why I’m suddenly so attached to this girl, after all she’s just some crazed fan I met a couple of hours earlier. That got hit by a car right in front of me then lost her memory. God dang it.

I lean forward in my seat and start tapping my foot nervously, another habit I’ve grown into. I bite my lip and play with the sleeve of my hoodie. Letting out a frustrated sigh I give up and start towards the hospital. I realize I should be there when Lainey gets back to break the news to her. I don’t know her that well but I figured hearing it from me would be better than from some doctor. Probably.

I get to the floor she’s on and hesitate. I don’t really want to go back in there. First it’d be awkward as hell considering she doesn’t remember me, second I’d have no idea what to say to her and third it would take all my strength to not break down in front of her. I just feel too guilty all the time, like all this is my fault. And it may well be. I saw the tweet she sent me that day; it had Lainey written all over it. So I guess this is partly both of our faults.

I make up my mind and go to the information desk on this floor and ask for her doctor. The nurse boredly tells me he’s busy and that I should just wait for him to return to her room. I sulk off and don’t bother with a thank you. I reach her room and take a breath before grabbing my phone out and walking in as casually as possible, which ends in me tripping over a pot plant. I curse to myself and look around to see if she noticed. I’m taken back as I see her wiping her eyes and giggling, pleased with myself for still being able to make her laugh, giggle and cry. It’s really a great power if you know how to use it. I laugh and take a seat, shaking my head. A few moments of silence follow before she talks.  

“Sorry about before eh” She speaks up; her voice has seemed to have gotten stronger. She seems genuinely apologetic and I’m a little confused

“What are you sorry for?” I raise an eyebrow and look up from my phone at her. I’m not really doing anything on it, but it makes things less awkward for me.

“For not knowing who you are. I saw how upset you got, we must be pretty close” I’m surprised, to say the least. I laugh nervously and shake my head again.

“No not really, well kind of but-“ I glance up to see her looking at me blankly “It’s a long story I guess” I’m all nervous around her now, I’m scared of saying the wrong thing. It’s weird how things have changed since the crash.

“I’ve got time” She replies casually. She is so different to the girl I met a couple of days earlier; she already seems so much more confident and relaxed. It makes it even weirder talking with her after everything.

“Well you probably won’t believe me” It’s true. It’s too weird.

“Try me” She’s persistent, I’ll give her that.

I laugh and scratch the back of my head, sitting back and wondering where to begin. How do you explain to someone that they’ve had an obsession with you since they were 15? Especially when they don’t remember you. I sit there for a good couple of minutes trying to decide how to word this. I take a breath and begin.